Vivid memory of my child years which i still carry with me at night are both bad and the good. The second option ones are experiencing a more profound effect on me. Claims such as: "don't venture out at night - the criminals will abduct you"; "good young boys don't cry"; "don't go out in the torrential rain - you'll capture frosty" were spoken by my parents and main care givers during my childhood. Of course, all were said with good motives to safeguard me from any harm - "they are really overly concerned about potential dangers to their child" (Bourne 2010). Claims like the above created in me a view that the entire world is a treacherous place in which to dwell. As a result, I grew up with the fear of darkness, and I suppressed my thoughts until recently, once i started seeking my basic trained in counseling. While working as a main of a High School in India, I ran across many of my students who was raised with fear, self-defeating opinion systems, insufficient courage, developmental issues, traumatic activities and behavioural disturbances. Although almost all of them were very skilled and gifted in lots of ways, they were considered as identified patients by their parents or called suffering from some mental disorders by DSM IV - "the DSM psychiatric diagnostic system, in the same way, creates its self-fulfilling prophesies, frequently dooming children to life-long self-images as broken, defective and untreatable" (Donovan & Deborah, 1990).
Drawing from my own personal experiences over the quest of my growth from childhood for this day, I will say it has been an extremely challenging and cumbersome process seeking to disassociate all those things the mind got assimilated -the self-defeating assertions, the negative criticisms, and harmful words - and also to rid myself from the age old bondage, to be absolve to discover my true probable. Thanks to the many psychotherapies, theories, and the therapeutic interventions, this helped me in my journey. It was an agonizing experience at the school to see these children, growing into teenagers and women called hopeless, difficult and disturbed. It has always been my concern to reach out to children, teenagers and women, respecting and understanding their subjective world view, understanding their needs, problems and their cognitive capacities. It appears that our fundamental institutions - such as home, primary school, Sunday university - in which we was raised and spent almost all of our time, were limited to provide sufficient answers to addresses these so called problems.
This deep earnest desire and helplessness within me has now become my love and mission to save lots of the personalities of the innocent children.
There is a superb buzz about abortion - killing of a fetus - while not much seems to have been done in regards to the "damage "done to the personality of the kids - by their parents and principal caregivers. This often leaves them handicapped for life. What I am hoping to accomplish in this paper is to: first, understand children as children from 'their' perspective - not from the adult point of view; secondly, offer an over-view of the psychotherapeutic interventions which have been used currently; third, introduce the Solution-Focused Therapeutic Model for Children; fourth, make our basic organizations, namely, our homes, primary colleges and the Sunday classes, places for providing remedy to the children and subsequently to effect a result of their recovery and growth; and finally the conclusion and critique of the possible restrictions of the Solution-Focused Restorative procedure with children.
Children aren't simply "little Parents" - H Thompson Prout
Very recently I read this quote in another of the Sunday Liturgy articles, "God does not check out us from God's perspective but instead from human perspective" (unknown), which is a very powerful declaration. If God got to view us from His point of view, then we would not be deserving for the very simple reason that we are incredibly frail beings and He's God. In a similar manner when it comes to interacting with the other person as human beings, it appears so very important to screen our communication routine. Dr. Eric Berne (1950s), who suggested the wonderful theory called the "Transactional Analysis"1 (TA), a theory which describes how we develop and treat ourselves, how exactly we relate and communicate with the other, offers suggestions and interventions which will enable us to change and grow. His theory of TA is a similar concept compared to that of Postmodernism thought, which says that people can transform and everyone deserves to be in this world and become accepted. With this underpinning of TA, I would alternatively be blunt in saying that when it comes to coping with children, we men and women need to check out children using their company perspective rather than from a grown-up view point. Among the major drawbacks in working with children and in the use of psychotherapy models for restorative purpose is the fact the children are viewed, from "the adult" perspective - "Children do not discuss many of the adult preconceptions and myths regarding the procedure for psychotherapy. Why damage this marvelous potential plasticity with the imposition of embarrassingly self-conscious adult pedestrianism" (Donovan & McIntyre 1990, 3). Speaking from another perspective, publisher Gary Chapman in his book "The Five Love Languages of Children" asks parents to frequently remind themselves of the rather obvious
1Retrieved from: http://www. businessballs. com/transactionalanalysis. htm
things about their children. One of his suggestions is to remember that children are children, and as long as they can be children they will act like children. Most of these acts are distasteful or unpleasant because they are childish as they move forward from children. Another deep thought that your publisher mentions seems very relevant to our issue and worth talking about is the fact he summons parents to constantly be sure you love their children unconditionally, despite their childish behaviour, for "they'll feel safe about themselves and you will be able to control their panic and their behavior as they increase to adulthood" (Chapman & Ross 2007, 21).
There appears to be lot of issue even among the therapists themselves about the many therapeutic models, about the best suitable solution to use for the treatment of children. On one hand the professional child therapists assert that some of the psychological theories - family therapy in particular- fail to address the children's issues, such as their developmental /development concerns and cognitive issues in the children, and thus they can be labeled as "identified patients" by the members of the family. Alternatively the family therapists maintain that such problems in children point towards family dysfunction and the interaction habits between them and these are referred to as pathological constructions. (Selekman 1997). From my own personal experience, even after being truly a young adult, we were still considered as "children", and not capable of making large decisions. As a result, we were overlooked from your choice making process in our family. At times parents treat children as non-entities - children are too small to comprehend "adult products" - hence do not pay much attention to children's worldview. This is only a myth because children can speak amounts from the fantastic potential within them.
Likewise many therapist brood over many misconceptions when it comes to child clients, and a few of these myths are: "young children should be excluded from Family Therapy lessons"; "Traumatized Children will Increase up to be Emotionally Flawed Parents"; "Children should be seen and not heard in the Treatment Planning and Problem-Solving Process"; Severe and Chronic Child Behavioral Issues WILL DEMAND Big and Complex Alternatives" and "The Therapist is more of a specialist on Parenting than the Child's parents" (Selekman 1997). Because of constraint's and limitations of this paper, I will refrain from deconstructing each one of these myths. Among the primary thoughts we need to harbour in our imagination - as adults - is that we need to comprehend children as they are, with their vulnerabilities and why they have become by far the most classified and labeled band of our contemporary society. Also, we need to understand how children think, interact, communicate and change. Never underestimate children. Their participation can contribute much to the healing / treatment plan in the counseling situation.
An Summary of the Development in the Psychotherapeutic Interventions with Children
Sir Thomas Edison, on the day when he had successfully developed the electric lamp, was asked by one of the reporters about the 10, 000 failures he previously before finally inventing the bulb, to which he replied "I've not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work" (1879). Likewise, there is absolutely no therapy or theory which is right or wrong for child clients. Each theory has a job that can be played and there has been a gradual development in the various theories. Freud - the forerunner of the psychotherapeutic world - similarly, has been in some way or the other, an ideas for major innovations in specialized medical mental health work - his famous case study of "Little Hans"2 a five calendar year old boy who was reluctant of horses (Freud, 1909) - was one of the first reported situations of the internal intervention in treating childhood disorders. Over the other
2Retrieved from: Little Hans RESEARCH STUDY (Freud, 1909). http://www. simplypsychology. org/little-hans. html
hand, it seems that, more harm was done than good by Freud/Piaget, with the psychoanalytic and developmental approach to stating, as though it were a dogmatic real truth, that a child must go through a protracted period of imperviousness to psychotherapeutic interventions. Many children were jinxed to unfriendly psychotherapies, and revealing children to be, in simple fact, "obligatory slaves of logic. " (Donovan & McIntyre, 1990)
Early in the twentieth century, we noticed the emergence of very good news for children, as there were various theories that were being suggested with greater focus on working with children, departing from the psychoanalytic explanations of Freud. Alfred Binet, was for a long time working on the brains test, which would later provide help to make decisions for educational placements in France. Finally in 1905, his work saw the dawn of the day and his work provided a solid foundation in a variety of spheres of psychology - "in the psychometric research of individuals and possessed great impact on child study and applied mindset" (H. Thompson Prout & Douglas T. Dark brown, 1999). Anna Freud (daughter of Freud), who pioneered the psychotherapy use children by delivering the lectures on "introduction to the Approach of Psycho-analysis of children" (Erickson, 1978). This was shortly followed by Melanie Klein (1932) who suggested something similar to that of free relationship (for individuals), the "free play" - signifying the value of child's play (Prout and Dark brown, 1999). All of this as the psychoanalytic psychotherapies were thoroughly being used until, Virginia Axline3, who printed her work in treating children - like the nondirective person centered therapy of Carl Rogers (1951), for
3Axline was inspired by the individual centered procedure of Carl Rogers. She is recognised as the originator of non-directive Play Therapy. Her popular book 'Dibs: In Search of Self applied' written in 1964 which explains how she worked with Dibs and exactly how he was able to heal himself on the time frame is a fantastic introduction to the topic. Axline in turn influenced Violet Oaklander who added a gestalt therapy method of play therapy and long the 'tool-kit' concept as identified in her book 'Windows to Our Children'. Retrieved from: http://www. playtherapy. org. uk/AboutPlayTherapy/AxlinePrinciples. htm
adults - the "non-directive play therapy". Within the newer years, intensive research is being done in the psychotherapeutic milieu, in treating children suffering from various problems. Today, children are no more regarded as doomed as a result of faulty parenting styles of their parents. There isn't much focus on digging in to the former or unearthing buried thoughts, as Freud would suggest, but rather creating of new self-objects, so the child lives a healthy life in this present minute and in the foreseeable future, by building through to the functions performed previously as a child - they were called "transmuting internalization" by Heinz Kohut. There have been other psychotherapies which seem to be to do much good regarding the children and amidst them the the one that sticks out and that was trusted was, the family systems theory by Murray Bowen, especially his CGAS (Children's Global Examination Scale). Yet another strategy which defies the original psychodynamic strategy of Freud, is the developmental/contextual procedure (Donovan and McIntyre) which boasts miracles and deals with the worst circumstances of children, and which holds the basic assumption that serious changes can be completed very quickly, sometimes despite having a procedure and even without revisiting the problem or without necessitating the child to consciously know very well what has took place. (Donovan & Deborah, 1990)
All these theories are extremely effective means of interacting with children, but I used to be still thinking why therapy is not part and parcel of the child's daily living. Why can't our homes, universities, Sunday college/Church premises, be places to help them develop a healthy subjective worldview - rather than develop a conflicting one because of the imposed/organized communal and religious objective views - and also to experience therapeutic and motivation to life. What really impressed me was the post modernistic approach to psychotherapy and their Constructivists' methods of counseling. Every child undergoes a different situation and therefore we cannot utilize the same yardstick to every problem or for that matter one cannot use the same remedy for every child. Personally, I needed to free myself from the "spell" of negative public construct and its own repercussions. The postmodern remedies appear to be the answer for what I got considering as the constructivists' methods: the Narrative therapy and, specially the Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT/SFT), whose basic assumption is that each problem comes with an exception. These do not concentrate on the condition but motivate the individual to build the future. It wouldn't be incorrect to even say the individual lives the future now.
Solution-Focused Restorative Model for Children
Hereby, I give one of my circumstance encounters at the Sacred Heart and soul of Jesus SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL, Goa, India, wherein I had been practicing healing interventions with my students. Today, I can express this theory as the "Solution-Focused Healing Model (of Intervention)", but eight years back I could just have explained it as using my counselling skills as the main of the institution on students who had been "identified patients" with their parents and professors.
"Regan, an eighth level student had not been faring well in his academic studies; it was the third consecutive calendar year that he had failed in the same grade. Through his college, Regan have been just scraping through (his grades). The school management and the educators were frantically looking to remedy his problem of not studying. He was seventeen years of age and was still in class eight. AS I had a treatment with Regan on my first encounter with him, after having some talk and after he previously expressed his difficulty in learning and not being happy at institution, I asked him, "What do you like doing the most when you are away from university that makes you happy?" He said "I want to go to the restaurant near our home and help them prepare and they give some tips as well which serve me as pocket money". We both discovered that "cooking" was Regan's interest and not catalogs, so I invited his parents to university and with great difficulty I was able to convince them that Regan had not been successful in academics studies, as his heart was in other places. Regan discontinued his studies and was delivered to execute a catering course, where he did very well and everything his family was happy for Regan, including himself. "
Many of our schools use the traditional models for problem solving and the most frequent way to deal with children/students is to ask questions about the problem itself. Even regarding Regan, the educators were puzzled along with his habit and were bombarding him and his parents with lots of questions such as: What's the problem along with you?; What makes you not learning?; Does he have challenges in focusing?; Has he got some family problems?; What do the parents have to state about his problem?; What actions should be taken against him? (Mahlberg & Sjoblom 2004, 28). Furthermore, most counseling solutions found in counselor education programs have their concentration centered around the issues, which indirectly conveys the concept that there is something wrong with your client and this includes "fixing" of the problem. It really is implicit that after we lay focus on the deficits of the client, then that contributes to the unnecessary, comprehensive and time-consuming exploration of problems, etiology, histories and triggers (Sklare 1997, 3). More often the students/children keep repeating the problem, a lot more saturated they become in the condition, and consequently lose sight of these pure potentials, strengths and their interior resources. Thus, a perfect situation is created for the necessity to call a professional, as an expert to give a solution. In view of the, we can understand the students' reluctance in conversing with the counselors, given that they keep stressing the problem over again just like a "broken-tape". Hence, there is the necessity to have a paradigm transfer from the problem-solving thinking to some other thought which would deliver better results. It was the postmodern thinking and their Constructivists' methods of counselling and psychotherapy, which caused the shift from the problem-solving thinking to Solution-Focused thinking - "we believe that it is better, respectful, and more appropriate to expect someone to take responsibility for finding a solution, rather than simply taking responsibility because of their problem" (Sklare 1997, 28)
"People often find it difficult to stop trying to solve an issue because 'down deep' they (we) stick to thinking that an explanation is both realizable and indispensible if a problem is usually to be really resolved. Alternatives are frequently missed because they often times like more preliminaries; we end up looking for explanations believing that without reason a solution is irrational, not realizing that the perfect solution is itself is its own best reason. " (de Shazer, 1998)
This paradigm transfer to the solution-focused model do away with the need for in-depth "research "of the historical antecedents of the client. Because of this the quest that I had in my mind - why spend so enough time on the problems and therefore long duration for counselling? - was valid. In effect, with the release of the solution-focused model the therapy has become more solution oriented and very quick in length of time - "Brief therapy simply means remedy that needs as few sessions as possible, not even one more than is necessary, for you to develop s reasonable solution. " (Simon & Insoo, 2) and at the same time less expensive - as those who cannot spend the money for high-end counselling were deprived to getting help and subsequently would stay in their "problematic" express for longer periods of time.
Our Homes, Elementary Institutions and Sunday Universities as Therapy Centre's for Children
"My mom was the making of me. She was so true, so certain of me; and I sensed I put something to have for, someone I have to not disappoint. " (Thomas Edison)
The life of Thomas Alva Edison4 (1847 - 1931) always fascinates me and I find it very relevant to discuss it here when we are speaking about the solution-focused style of psychotherapy which developed almost fifty years later. As we realize, Edison possessed difficulty in learning and his instructors were fed up with him. It is said that one of his instructors called him "Addled" - rotten or best for nothing at all. Finally after only 90 days of formal schooling, he was asked to leave school. In ways, his school had not been able to provide a "solution" to his problem, but his mother provided "solution-focused remedy" therefore his home was a therapy Centre for Edison. It had been there where he discovered solutions and found a dazzling future for his life - even though he had
"Knowledge is not something people own in their minds but instead something people do along. There is no one standard of logical thought or and self-employed -
4Retrieved from: http://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Thomas_Edison
5but his life there was bittersweet. He sold chocolate and papers on trains running from Interface Huron to Detroit, and he sold fruit and vegetables to supplement his income. This began Edison's long streak of entrepreneurial ventures as he uncovered his talents as a businessman. These skills eventually led him to found 14 companies, including Basic Electric, which continues to be in existence as one of the most significant publicly traded companies on the planet. (Retrieved From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, http://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Thomas_Edison
- objective fact that can work as a test for deciding valid or correct beliefs. Meanings of rationality or truth merely reflect a specific social consensus somewhat than some privileged access to the way things really are. "(Lyddon 1995, 581)
Speaking from the sociable constructivists' point of view, we recognize that everyone is a interpersonal construct - "Solution-Focused Short Therapist view humans to be totally made by their interpersonal framework. " (Thomas V Frederick, 2008). Humans actively construct signifying from the many experiences that may be understood in an almost infinite variety of ways. Hence, it is assumed that we construct realities predicated on our own situation which is pretty much what is useful for us, not based on fact that if it holds true in any complete sense. (Derek, 144). Therefore, from the Social- constructivists' zoom lens, our family, primary university and Sunday university will be the first social establishments that we face as children and where we spend the majority of our time. Generally speaking, whatever knowledge we gain from these establishments, provides the raw material for our subjective world view, will develop a feeling of community, will ensure security and find value for life. At times, there is certainly in some ethnicities no opportunity to nurture and exhibit one's subjective world view, about the public world or even about faith and God - the state God of prepared religion is quite different from the God of experienced subjective simple fact, a fact often and easily overlooked (Rizzuto, 1991). There's a greater need of the initial institutions to produce an ambience which stimulates a sense of community and security and a program to learn. For the public constructivists, the primacy for knowledge is in the "relational" processes of cultural exchange and symbolic conversation that constrain personal types of understanding. In contrast, the Empiricist Cognitive Remedy attributes the causative primacy to the average person knower and his / her cognitive operations in the development, maintenance and remediation of psychological issues. (Lyddon 1995, 580)
Therefore, working with the solution-focused zoom lens, we can create good relationships with children, students, parents, educators, and colleagues equally. It has been observed that whenever parents and teachers - at school or Sunday college- cherish healthy associations with children/students, they have a greater impact with them than those who promote a bad romantic relationship. And the very attractive quotation from the Scripture which perfectly which talks about Jesus' healthy romance with children. The scene was where children were brought to Jesus by their parents to be blessed by Him -"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray to them. But the disciples rebuked those who helped bring them. Jesus said, "Allow small children come to me, and don't hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. " When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. " (Mat. 19: 13-14)
To create healthy romantic relationships, here are a few suggestions using the solution-focused lens. It would be of great importance for the associates of these basic institutions to produce a paradigm move from the Problem-solving thinking to solution-focused thinking; problem-focused model, are deficit and pathology oriented. Following are recommended methods to help create healthy human relationships based on the solution-focused model as an aid to the associates of the basic companies such as home, primary college and Sunday university, to help those within their precincts to develop their full potentiality (adapted from Mahlberg & Sjoblom, 2004)
The Yes Stage
Insoo Kim Berg message or calls it a 'Yes-set', this means when we talk to the kid or the family, we cause questions or other statements that we may have learned they will answer with a 'yes'. The purpose of this 'yes-set' is make the kid feel welcome, it's been noted that whenever anyone given an possibility to answer 'yes' feels better, positive, secure and a fairly easy way to determine a talk.
Mirroring and Matching
We usually automatically tend to adjust our communication with others according to the other persons way of speaking. This technique is extremely helpful if one needs to develop trusting marriage with the spouse. By mirroring and matching, we develop a co-operative, understanding, safe and comfortable ambience.
Whatever the function of the kid might be, it will always be helpful to think that generally children have positive intentions in what they actually. When we assume that all persons are good it becomes simpler to build good connections, though we might not exactly accept the actions in themselves.
Going with the Child's Energy
Another great tool in building romantic relationship is indicating to the child that people are on the same part as theirs. The moment we take the opposite side then they become defensive - "the proper regards to the other is value and care and attention, not dominion. The other can be evoked, solicited, or resolved by conversation, but no category or term can ever before grasp the essence of an person or do justice to unique individuality. " (Olthuis 2006, 36) By going with the child's energy we increase our chances of co-operation and a successful outcome.
Jumping into the Same Boat
It is meaningless to check out the kids from our adult point of view and keep shouting at them, so they need to leap into our point of view. Rather we jumping into their boat, taking a look at them using their "child" point of view would be more productive. As when we row collectively we reach the goal faster and the duty is simpler as well.
Respecting the child's Style of the World
Every person has its own worldview - unique encounters, Interpretations of occurrences, values, beliefs and thought procedures. The children likewise have their own worldview, so if we value the child's model of the world and steer clear of a tampering with theirs and replacing it with our own, then we type in a conflict. Whenever we respect the child's point of view we have far greater opportunities for facilitation their development.
Also called as positive stroking or words of affirmation, when used for children they pull closer
to their goals. Positive opinions reinforces positive behavior, functions as instructions and plays a part in giving the child an elevated self-confidence.
Focusing on the Competence and Ability
Focusing on the child's competence and potential is an priceless tool in helping children reaching their goal. There's a tendency on earth and in any institution on concentrating more on the deficits somewhat than concentrating on the capabilities, opportunities, competence and abilities.
Noticing Positive Change
Change is constant which is inevitable. So the school professors, catechism teachers and parents are to be vigilant to consider the smallest signal that might suggest positive is going on in the child. Then magnify, spotlight and amplify and trumpet it to all the significant others around the child for having achieved improvement - however small success it could be. This will lead to greater changes in the life span of the kid.
Routines Instead of Rules
Routine refers to 'a skill acquired from experience or an ability that has become automatic'. On the other hand, rules make reference to 'legislation' or basic expectations. Individuals normally tend to be more flexible when the routine is followed or not, the child could have grounds not to follow rules. Regimens give more opportunities to build on alternatives.
A Shared Approach
Meaning to adopt an approach any particular one feels is most effective for the kids and their children, so as to come with an contract on certain conditions that will help both children/students and parents/professors to attain their goals
Conclusion and a critique of the possible restrictions of the Solution-Focused Model
As we have seen, taking a Solution-Focused style of healing intervention can help children in building their life and develop their full potential, rather than focusing on the deficits, which tends to deepen their problems. The proponents of the Solution-Focused Brief Therapy do not say that there are no problems. What they somewhat stress upon is that there is no need for the therapist to execute a research on the client's problems - "therapists need not know a good deal about their client's problems to solve them and the therapists should avoid at all costs participating in "problem discussion" (Berg & de Shazer, 1991) -- as it can deter children from getting close to the therapist. Children are unique and are also their problems, which could sprout from the very solutions offered to them - "problems and alternatives are close family, nor always have to be segregated for effective problem solving" (Van Gundy, 1988). What I that can compare with of the constructivists' ways of psychotherapy is their openness to the "eclectic" tackle towards therapy. It is definitely debated by therapists very vigorously concerning which therapeutic intervention is most effective for children. The postmodern ideas/therapies and their eclectic character have caused some reconciliation one of the therapists, since these therapies integrate other restorative models which require the parents/others in the procedure process - "Counselors and therapists from a variety of colleges of thought know about the importance of resource people who can support your client" (Pembroke 2005, 15).
The nature of the Solution-Focused Quick Therapy provides a user-friendly approach to institution problems and other obstacles confronted by today's children and young ones, to empower them and help them build their future. The effectiveness of parents, a institution and catechism teacher rests largely on their ability to interact with the children with techniques that encourage change and alternatives. Brief solution-focused counselling is responsive to the simple simple fact that change is the name of the game (Murphy, 210).
Finally, exactly like any other healing model, it has its strong items and weaknesses, so also the Solution-Focused Brief Therapy/Model has its likely limitations. To mention a few of them: 1) The Solution-Focused Quick Therapy is more of a 'chat therapy, ' seen from the children's point of view, which responds better through nonverbal means, such as art and play activities. Hence it appears that children would respond better to second option models of restorative interventions somewhat than to the SFBT model. 2) The SFBT model handles a great deal of cognitive/pondering work, which makes use of the whole lot of abstract conditions such as 'miracle, ''goals, ' etc. This sounds just a little heavy and children find it hard to grasp these terms and concepts; as a result, this model might not evoke great results with children. 3) The one most common critique of the postmodern restorative interventions and more so of the SFBT- that i too have came across in my practice - is that the SFBT will not offer sufficiently with the emotions or the affect area of the individual. All these limitations can be done away with by growing the essential Solution-Focused Brief Therapy model, rendering it more flexible and integrating it with other models, like making use of the Family Play and Art work Therapy Strategies and of Narrative Therapy Ideas or even recognizing the efforts from Winnicott and other Developmental Theorists. Such integration could very well lead the Solution-Focused Model to be the "Restorative Model" by itself, in working with all sorts of problems and persons (Selekman, 1997).
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