Times When Two Ethnicities Come Together

Culture is thought as the historically sent and interrelated web of worth, assumptions, norms, belief systems and behavioral patterns that differentiate one human group from another. Culture is manifested in music, painting, books, theater, sculpture and films, shortly in all aspects of life. It affects the way we perceive the globe, just how we attribute meaning to your environment. Therefore diversities and conflicts are generally seen when folks from different cultural backgrounds encounter one another. In this newspaper I'd like to examine this cultural contact based on a movie called 'My Big Body fat Greek Wedding'.

The 2002 affectionate comedy 'My Big Extra fat Greek Wedding' is a great example for depicting ethnical differences between the US and the Greek culture. It shows how differences in cultures may influence the lives of individuals through the main character of any 30 yr old Greek female Toula. Being brought up in america by a traditional Greek family, Toula really needs a single purpose in life: to marry a Greek man and also have as much Greek children as she can. Compared to her sister who have been married for some time and has 3 children, she actually is perceived to be observed unfortunate anticipated to her getting 30 but still being solitary. Her father continuously reminds her to marry soon because she started to look old. Toula is jammed challenging Greek values in her life. She actually is employed in the family-owned restaurant and does not have any free space for herself. From enough time she was a child, decisions regarding which institution she would go to or where she'd work are dependant on her family. However; being lifted within an American culture that is very different from Greek culture resulted her to be unsatisfied with her life. The emphasis on individuality, having the ability to be autonomous affected her views as well. The realization of the uncontentment climaxed after reaching Ian while working at the restaurant. When Ian enters her life, she started to understand that she wished to live her own life and she begins to make her own alternatives. With her mother's help, she provides the permission when planning on taking computer classes at school which she may later use for business. The agreement of the daddy comes later because he considers that city is an unhealthy place to go. Even though her mom insists on this authorization, he responds: 'if a girl is enough smart, why bother going to school. '

This dilemma of acculturation process which Toula experienced is evaluated scientifically in Cigdem Kagitcibasi's reserve of 'Family, Home, and Human being Development across Civilizations' as well. In her book, Kagitcibasi clarifies that the aspirations of children have are affected by the dominant society when there is a cultural contact between your culture of relatedness of ethnic minorities originating from collectivistic societies and the culture of separateness of the individualistic dominant modern culture. Within the culture of separateness, autonomy is highly respected because it is efficient and adaptive in every day situations. When these minority adolescents take part in a social comparison process, they note that their peers who belong to the culture of separateness enjoy more specialist than they certainly. On the other hand, being related with their parents satisfies their need for heat and security and it does not create a turmoil. However; in some cases where parents lack enough education, parents see autonomy as an indicator of disrespect or separation. Therefore they might not exactly give autonomy to the child. Here we can speak about a 'culture lag' in which the traditional point of view in the family of interdependence still goes on despite the fact that it is not useful in the urban, technological population. This culture lag creates a discord where the autonomous-related do it yourself and the family model of psychological/emotional interdependence that adolescents favor collides with the heteronomous-related self applied and the family model of interdependence that parents value. As the first one is more adaptive within an immigration context, chances are that it will be the case (Kagitcibasi, p. 324). However this transition would be hard equally as it is observed in Toula's struggle.

As it is reviewed above, autonomus related home is more adaptive in an metropolitan lifesetting as it's the case with Toula in the movie. Autonomous related self is an idea that is made by Kagitcibasi that satisfies two basic needs that are autonomy and relatedness. Even though mainstream psychology has always thought autonomy as being separate, Kagitcibasi notes these two are specific concepts that are independent from one another. Autonomy identifies willful firm, being governed from outdoor; whereas being split or close is about the relationship with others. This type of self applied is more appropriate for an immigration context where there is urban lifestyle including education and work. Because urban lifestyle requires individual decision making, quite simply autonomy is needed for taking initiatives. However close self applied other and kinship relationships persist, too. Therefore it is more adaptive to acquire autonomous related personal. However the process for migrant young families with traditional lifestyle to accept the transfer towards this kind of self does take time.

After getting the authorization of her parents, Toula's differentiation process to the autonomous related self applied commences. She gets herself a fresh hairdo, abandons her glasses and starts to wear make-up. Furthermore she manages to find new connections and becomes more outgoing and sociable. She quits employed in the family had restaurant. Instead, she starts off to work at the tourism firm bureau of her aunt. In her new job, she feels much better, especially after getting the attraction from the dude, Ian, whom she fulfilled at the restaurant. After some time, Ian and Toula starts off to particular date secretly but as Toula finds out that the guy she was thinking of is non-Greek, things started out to be challenging for both of them. As Toula is struggling with how to make her family accept Ian who is a 'foreigner', Ian confirms himself met with the category of his love where things are completely different from his own. Instead of Ian that has only two cousins, Toula has twenty seven. When Ian asks her what she does in her free times, she responds that there is no leisure time on her behalf own because the expanded family is together on a regular basis. Moreover, Toula's family is very pleased with their Greek traditions. Her dad constantly states that of what have root base from the Greek vocabulary and he overemphasizes that we now have two types of people, first of all the ones who are Greek and second the ones who wish to be Greek. Moreover, her family tries to maintain their Greek identity in all aspects. Their house was created in Greek style and there were Greek statues and miniatures all over the place. They take part in every traditional practice a Greek family might have. They celebrate festive days in Greek way; they party and eat with Greek family members. They send their kids to Greek universities in order that they acquire the Greek culture. The family also has a patriarchal structure where the father is the head of the family and where the mother supports the health care and support of family members.

Toula's family fits into the model of interdependence as it is detailed in Kagitcibasi's reserve. The model is associated with close relatives and is often characterized by patrilineal family buildings (Kagitcibasi, p. 136). Toula's family also has strong familial relations, they celebrate everything together with the extended family, cousins entirely work at a family owned restaurant to be able to contribute home jointly. Since it is expected from Toula, this type of family framework needs fertility as well. Moreover, the child's dependence is guaranteed by obedience-oriented socialization and authoritarian parenting as it is the circumstance with Toula. Even getting her 30s is insufficient to make decisions regarding herself by itself. Still she needs the agreement of her father, is strictly controlled when she returns late. This sort of socialization promotes 'commitment' and 'interdependence' as it is seen in the movie.

As opposed to Toula's family which prices interdependence, Ian's family is characterized in the style of self-reliance which is the typical model of the european individualistic, nuclear family that is found in the industrialized societies (Kagitcibasi, p. 139). This family model worth interpersonal self-reliance. The family prevails in nuclear composition and low degree of fertility is common. Socialization procedures enhance the independent self where there is less control in childrearing. That is why Ian's family will allow the relationship at first eyesight and does not interfere with the procedure. In addition, Ian lives exclusively and has no sibling or 27 cousins like Toula which is seen in category of interdependence.

The differences regarding the values and beliefs are typically seen through reaching the end of the film where the two families start to meet and have interaction. When Ian's family comes for a evening meal which was said to be a quiet meal for getting together with each side, these are shocked when they start to see the public which is waiting for them. Every single person in the extended family was asked for the meal and the dinner ended up being a celebration where everyone eat, boogie and sing Greek sounds which is common in Greek culture. Instead of Toula's congested family, Ian's family comes to dinner with only the nuclear members of the family composed of mother, father and Ian.

As the wedding preparations accelerate, Toula's relatives continue steadily to intervene atlanta divorce attorneys single detail. For instance; Toula's mother has already prepared the marriage invitations by herself and didn't ask Toula's judgment about whom to invite. Her wedding dress is already planned by her cousin and the area of the marriage is established by Toula's family, despite to the fact that Ian's family thought a golf club would be alright. As it can be predicted, relationship from the point of view of Toula's Greek family is just not about uniting two different people, but it is the getting started with of two clans. As opposed to this, marriage can you need to be a 'consumer decision with utilitarian value distributed to affiliates at a membership' (Denny Wayman & Hal Conklin, 2002). On the day of the marriage, Toula's family intervened in every the details as well. When Toula has pointed out that she has a pimple on her behalf face, all her female family help her to hide it with a foundation.

Lastly I would like to emphasize a few of the similarities between Greek culture and Turkish culture that I've seen throughout the film. Within the film Toula's family reminds me of the traditional Turkish family with expanded family ties in rural context. The development of the related personal is assured with obedience socialization and control. Though not being in a rural framework, Toula's family is focused on their worth and traditions so firmly that they don't let their child be free like the individuals in the American culture. Toula confirms herself in a total problem where she needs to change things in life but out of value she can not exercise it easily. Another similarity that I have detected is the Greek customs which can be also common in Turkey. For instance; hospitality is highly valued in Turkish culture, too. Whenever a guest involves visit a Turkish family house, the number family offers scrumptious meals to take pleasure from their time. When Ian first visits Toula's family, although he responds that he is not hungry, Toula's mother says: 'Ok I make you something to consume. ' The concept of the wedding is also similar in the way that the family even the ones who live significantly are asked to the wedding ceremony. Following the wedding ceremony, they celebrate the day with dance, eating and wishing a happy life just as in the Turkish culture. They dance sirtaki which really is a popular party of Greek source similar to the Turks who dance 'halay'. There is also the traditional desert baklava like the Turks and use the same expression 'portakal' for orange.

Lastly, Turks also give presents to the newly wed couples just as it sometimes appears in the movie where Toula's father has bought a residence near to them. Buying a house nearby the parents' also shows that 'loyalty' and being close are highly appreciated in Greek culture where there's a culture of relatedness.

In conclusion I would like to stress that My Big Extra fat Greek Wedding is a great movie which conveys the message that no matter how different two civilizations may be, there's a universal facet of humanity in every around the world. Though history is filled with great atrocities, wars and pain caused by differences among civilizations, the expect our future may rest in us being able to love and accept each other because of the differences. The landscape before the film ends also summarizes this view flawlessly. Before the guests all are dance and singing, Toula's father expresses in his speech: 'You know, the root of the word Miller (the surname of Ian) is a Greek phrase. Miller originates from the Greek term "milo, " which means "apple, " so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek term "portokali, " this means "orange. " So, fine? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We are all different, but in the end, we are all fruit. '

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