Ways to resolve conflict situations in business relations, councils...

Ways to resolve conflict situations in business relations

Constructive conflict resolution. It all depends on your behavior. Although you have armed yourself to fight the conflict, your real goal should be to settle it (that is, reconciliation), therefore, it is with the help of self-confidence and appropriate support that this task should be solved.

Act step by step. First of all, try to enter into dialogue with the enemy again. Create a relationship that will make your communication possible. Do not forget tune on your opponent. Talk to each other. Be prepared for a compromise and, if necessary, involve an independent mediator. Make a decision that will help end the conflict.

Once in a conflict situation, each person reacts in his own way. One takes the problem as a challenge, the other as a catastrophe. Therefore, the spectrum of possible patterns of behavior is very wide: from reckless attack to hasty flight.

Often the reactions are spontaneous and do not solve anything. And sometimes they are only aimed at defending their own interests. In other cases, they are aimed at temporarily overcoming negative emotions and ultimately express only fear or frustration, despair or fury.

Underestimation of the seriousness of the conflict. Togo, who does not really want to notice the conflict, tries to belittle his significance. Yes I know everything and other statements of this kind serve, as it were, as an excuse for minimizing tension, its size or its explosive nature. Adopting the situation seriously and, perhaps, clarifying the relationship or settling the conflict seems not so important and postponed until later. Meanwhile, while one side understates the importance of the ongoing conflict, it may well be that its escalation has already begun. And when it comes to open confrontation, the second side will be much better prepared.

Ignoring the conflict. Anyone who believes that he can avoid conflict does not want to notice any differences of interest or differences of opinion. The motto: "What I do not know, then I do not care", seems to justify such a view of things. Although the aggravation of the situation is noticeable to everyone around, a person with such an installation will probably try to "sit out" conflict or displace it.

Time heals some wounds, but does not solve the problem. Very rarely conflicts are resolved by themselves; in the overwhelming majority of cases, the positive development of disagreements is achieved only through the decisive intervention of third parties.

Arrangement of the conflict. Those who participate in the conflict will defend their point of view and try to prove their case or take over the enemy. Repression in psychology is called the mechanism of psychological defense, when something that causes tension or anxiety is excluded from consciousness or not allowed into it. There is one possibility: to use the conflict, regardless of the possible prospects for its development to settle its interests.

It seems that the situation, "when two are debasing", tempts some people not to enter into conflict, to benefit from it for themselves personally. It can go so far that the conflict will be specially "warmed up" in the hope of hitting one of its participants. With this arrangement support will be given to the party that has more chances to become a winner, and not one that, perhaps, is right in terms of conflict content. If a colleague who is not affected by the conflict suddenly starts to speak aloud loudly on the side of the potential winner, then there is - and not entirely groundless - the suspicion that he wants to take advantage of his chances of success.

Anyone who uses conflicts in this way should be prepared for the fact that he himself can become a pawn in someone else's game.

Rationalization of the conflict. Those who want to understand the conflict to the last detail, first of all, try to approach the problem rationally. The analysis of the conflict in most cases is conducted only from the position of common sense. Feelings that can not always be assessed and which are so difficult to influence are taken into account only as minor accompanying phenomena. React in a businesslike way, so sober can only one who does not allow any manifestations of feelings.

Such a limited view leads to the fact that selfish and irrational motives - the most important driving force of interpersonal contradictions - remain outside the field of vision. But just in sympathies and antipathies, in fear of the unknown or, for example, in hurting ambition, there are so often important points of departure for finding out the causes of the conflict.

Regressive behavior. Having exhausted their ability to resolve the conflict, they often resort to behavior patterns that helped them in their childhood.

Stubborn as a child - this reaction is often found in adults during conflicts at work. So, the chief begins to yell, as he yelled in childhood during a fight, and the secretary - to cry like a little girl. And the violent slamming of the door after a dispute corresponds more to the reaction of childhood helplessness than to the reactions of an adult personality. Anyone who, in disagreements with colleagues, activates children's patterns of behavior, should not be surprised when he fails to achieve his own. A person who tries to resolve a work conflict by the power of a voice or by what causes pity for others does not in fact understand the entire explosiveness of many intrigues in the struggle for power.

A person who refuses to try to influence the course of the conflict, feels helpless and defeated. While the more intelligent one gives in, but does not give up, the employees, for whom the resignation characterizes, demonstrate that they consider the situation to be unpromising, i.e. the chance to prove one's rightness seems so insignificant to him that one does not even need to waste time and energy. Anyone who thinks like this, not only loses in the conflict, but also loses credibility in the eyes of employees. In some cases, such a retreat can lead to an ambiguous side effect, when, in order to survive a defeat perceived as a disgrace, they get drunk or go to work with a head. Submission still did not resolve a single conflict - only temporarily remove it. And worse: very soon such a humiliating retreat can lead to social isolation and, thus, cause a new conflict.

A person who refuses to take a position on a contentious issue and defends his own interests demonstrates his tolerance for a different point of view or behavior. If this is your behavior, remember: simple tolerance can easily grow into a tacit agreement.

Be cautious: at first glance such treatment of the conflict may seem positive. However, those who are afraid of conflicts and constantly restrained cease to see their own goals. Without wanting to do this, he makes it clear that he is incompetent or simply incapable of anything; sooner or later this behavior leads to a loss.

What can I do?

In order to successfully cope with the conflict situation, you need to involve your entire repertoire of behavioral models. Below you will get acquainted with some opportunities that will help to behave adequately in a conflict situation.

Do not hide the problem. Discuss the problem, even if it is associated with painful experiences for all participants. Having stated without explanation to your opponent the causes of the conflict, and maybe your feelings, you will show that you are interested in its settlement. But be cautious: no matter how meaningful you may be to discuss the problem and its causes, you can offend someone's feelings. Therefore, think about how to put the problem into discussion without offending anyone.

Try to make your point of view understand. Your experience, position and knowledge will help in this.

But cautiously: often the settlement of the conflict, achieved under the pressure of force, looks like a Pyrrhic victory; In this case, success is unlikely to benefit you.

Change the subject of the conflict. Change the topic that underlies the conflict. Formulate another, new problem. Thus, you surprise your opponent and take away from him the main goal of the attack: his arguments will lose credibility, and he will be forced to build his own line of behavior in a new way.

For example, while the chief expresses his dissatisfaction with your lack of readiness for action, you can calmly but constantly point out the inadequate readiness of the department's employees for cooperation.

If you thus compel yourself to listen, you will be able to translate the conversation from criticism directed at you into a constructive discussion about the existing forms of cooperation. And then you will win.

Emphasize common interests. Do not focus on existing or possible differences in interests. Emphasize comparable experience and appeal to common interests. Show how you try to align your views with your opponent's views. So you can reduce tension and achieve a compromise.

But keep in mind: although you emphasize the community of interests, your position in this dispute must remain (at least initially) unchanged.

Make an impression that there is an alternative. Quietly listen to your opponent and demonstrate a special interest by asking questions (for example: "Why do you really think that ...?"). Make an impression that you have different options for action. Even if this is not the case, the opponent will certainly need to consider his own position once again.

Attract possible allies. Refer to the fact that your point of view is determined not only by you, by the much more existing circumstances. So you will attract possible allies. If you can create an impression on your opponent that you are bound by a string of mutual obligations, he will not be so easy to attack you personally.

Know how to retreat. To not let yourself be dragged into further arguments, leave the "battlefield". Follow the old wisdom: "The first to stop arguing is the one who is smarter" - and slowly start a retreat.

But be careful: Avoid behavior that can be regarded as a flight - it would be more evidence of weakness and insecurity, so retreat in small steps.

Establish a personal relationship. Many conflicts could be settled if the participants agreed to listen to each other. Their attitude to the problem is often determined by different - and sometimes contrary - expectations and values. In order to successfully repay this conflict potential, it is necessary to establish relations between the conflicting parties.

Keep in touch. No matter how disappointed or displeased your colleagues or boss, try to keep the existing contact between you.

Closing in yourself or even stopping a relationship, you practically deprive yourself of the opportunity to act: in this case you can not prevent further escalation of the conflict or take something to resolve it.

Do not deceive yourself. Often good relationships are identified with harmony and agreement. But even if people agree on all issues, this does not guarantee a conflict-free life. Do not believe if someone claims there is no disagreement. Often it is just the opposite: to make a good impression, people do not want to recognize the existence of differences in opinions and ignore disagreements. If you want to influence the course of the conflict, you must try to understand your opponent and his point of view. Try to make sure that your mind is at peace with emotions, do not confuse business and personal relationships.

Take this seriously to the following tips:

- an excess of emotions can adversely affect your ability to assess the situation;

- lack of emotions can reduce your motivation and understanding;

- Learn to understand the emotions of both your own and others';

- consider the emotions of both your own and others;

- do not react only emotionally, keep your head clear.

Earn the trust of others. Are there reasons why you can not be trusted? If so, change your behavior and earn the trust of others!

There are so many other possibilities for you:

- do not sit;

- Try to break the will of the enemy;

- put the enemy in a stalemate;

- do not give him the opportunity to retreat with dignity;

- try to convince;

- put the focus on the problem itself;

- look for a common way to solve the problem;

- stay open for other people's arguments;

- show interest in other points of view;

- tune into a richer palette of possibilities;

- try to convince the enemy with an argument;

- Go to meet your opponent so that he can change his position without losing his dignity.

Do not exert pressure. In order to achieve a conflict-free relationship, pressure is absolutely inapplicable. The more pressure you exert on the enemy on the conflict, the less likely the adoption of a solution acceptable to all parties. Perhaps the pressure will lead to the desired result for a short time, but in the medium term do not expect.

Tune in to your opponent. Conflicts often flare up because of the personal qualities and characteristics of individuals, so the ability to correctly encircle the identity of employees, as well as the boss gives confidence. As a rule, in most cases it is enough to have an elementary ability to observe people's knowledge. Particular attention should be paid to the boss and those colleagues who, in the event of a conflict, are expected to become your opponents.

Rules for managing the negotiation process. You have an action strategy during the negotiations. If so, what is it? You will try to create as wide a range of alternatives as possible before making a decision. What options do you have? You consider your negotiating partner to be a person who contributes to solving a common problem. If so, why do you see it as an enemy? How will you react if your negotiating partner disagrees with your arguments?

Take decisions deliberately. So, in a conflict situation, you can act differently: you can capitulate, look for a compromise and go to a conflict. You can do it right away or later, alone or with others. But in any case, you will have to make a decision.

Take it well. Irrelevant or hasty, as well as unsuccessful decisions, often increase the conflict potential.

To avoid this, it's important to make decisions:

- at the right time;

- based on a sufficient amount of information;

- taking into account the problem being solved.

People who successfully make decisions rely on the mixture experience and feelings, views and professional knowledge. Therefore, please refer to the following:

1. Avoid spontaneous decisions. Give yourself time to think. This will create the necessary distance to analyze the possible consequences.

2. Do not ignore your feelings, but remember that your mood at any time can change, so back up your decision with weighty arguments.

3. Do not allow to force you to make hasty or unnecessary decisions, for example, because someone wants to shift responsibility to you.

4. Find out:

- Do you need a specific solution at all?

- can someone else make a decision;

- Can I make a decision later.

5. Gather all the information you need to make a decision, not just the one that confirms your own point of view. Only in this way you can avoid an erroneous decision that takes into account only your personal interests.

6. Look for the possibility of informal conversation in order to evaluate the reaction of others to your possible solution. Discuss it with colleagues whom you trust. But do not let them make the decision for you at the same time.

7. Many decisions, such as changing jobs, will have consequences for your personal life, so connect your family and close friends to discuss them.

Tips for Overcoming Conflict in Negotiations

1. Remember: the level of aggression is directly proportional to the level of misunderstanding!

2. Life is short - perfect yourself, not others.

3. Prepare for negotiations three times longer than you expect them to be.

4. Find several employees at once, with whom you could negotiate a topic of interest to you in the client company.

5. Work out all possible objections with your colleagues and acquaintances.

6. Find ways to establish positive emotional relationships with a partner before negotiations.

7. Before the negotiations, make a list of positive personal traits of the counterparty.

8. Faced with an objection, encourage the partner to jointly search for options to overcome the contradictions.

9. Remember: the purpose of negotiations is not to overcome objections, but to jointly search for solutions!

10. Remember: a conflict is a test of your ability to act constructively in a difficult situation.

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