Active listening algorithm
There are four ways of establishing feedback: questioning, rephrasing, reflection of feelings, summarizing.
Asking or asking. This is a direct appeal to the speaker, which is carried out through a variety of issues.
For clarification (what and how I heard):
- Please specify ...
- Did I hear you right? ..
- Repeat, please ...
In response, the speaker clarifies, repeats or confirms the correctness of the rape of the information expressed.
For development (getting new, additional information). Use such questions: what? Where? when? why? which one? what for? etc. Or: Could you inform us additionally ..., clarify in more detail ...
In this case, the listener gets clarification, explanation, new information.
On a ratio (to someone or something):
- How do you feel about ...?
- What do you think about ...?
- How do you think ...?
In this case, it turns out the opinion, the judgment. Understanding (which, and how I understood, did I understand you correctly?):
- a complete repetition of the thesis;
- the main idea of the above;
- reflection of their feelings;
- a reflection of the feelings of a partner
- development of the partner's thoughts;
summarizing what is understood and understood.
The request for further clarification is aimed at making it easier to understand, to draw the speaker's attention to the fact that he does not express himself exactly.
Paraphrasing means expressing the same idea, but in other words. The listener paraphrases the speaker's idea and returns the essence of the message to him so that he can assess whether it is understood correctly.
To rephrase, you can use these phrases:
- As far as I understand you ...
- So, you believe ...
- In other words, do you think ...
- If I understand you correctly ...
- Do you think ...
Typically, this technique is used to highlight the partner's main thoughts. The emphasis is only on the semantic meaning of thought, idea, and not on the attitudes and feelings of the interlocutor. Using this technique, you can use either your own words, or exactly repeating what the interlocutor said (the so-called "echo-paraphrase").
The use of the paraphrase is for you:
Allows you to neutralize negative emotions on what you hear;
- postpone the answer (gives a gain in time);
- remove the illusion of understanding;
- consider what you heard.
Helps - maintain conversation;
- fix the point of view of the interlocutor;
- detail and concretize what has been said;
- Filter the main content of the statement;
- set the emphasis in terms of importance for yourself;
- to understand what the client really wants to say; summarize and summarize long thoughts;
- clarify the client's idea.
Force to be collected and alert;
- abandon subjective estimates;
- control your emotional state;
- hold and remember all the nuances of the message.
Use of the paraphrase for your interlocutor:
Allows - to detail and illustrate the above;
- get the impression that they are listening;
- be sure that you understand it.
It helps - to realize what he expressed is not so;
- to understand what exactly you understand or do not understand;
better understand and express your own thought;
- discover what is important to you.
Makes - keep on one topic;
- speak clearly for the listener;
- separate the content of the conversation from emotions.
Reflecting the senses. When using this technique, the main attention is paid not to the content of the message, but to the feelings that the speaker expresses, the emotional component of his statements. It is especially important to use this technique when there is a marked discrepancy between what a person is saying and the non-verbal signals that he is showing. Reflecting the senses helps the speaker to realize their emotional state.
Emotional reaction is very important for mutual understanding, because a person shows emotions when the information for him is especially significant. And the task of the listener in this situation is to show the interlocutor that he understands and shares his feelings (or not). Even if you do not share the feelings of the interlocutor, it is advisable to show sympathy to him. Reflecting the emotional state of the speaker, one should also take into account the intensity of the manifestation of his feelings.
Summary. Generalization helps to relate individual parts of the information heard into a single whole. Thus, summing up the above, the interlocutor lets the speaker understand that his basic thoughts are understood and perceived. Such a way of establishing feedback is relevant in the discussion, business meeting, conference, negotiations, round table in situations where debates and debates are delayed, many points of view and constructive proposals are expressed and it is necessary to restore the essence of the problem, to sum up what was said. It is also useful to summarize when the conversation should result in some kind of action on the part of the listener.
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