4.4. External manifestations of the orientation of teachers on the personal model of interaction with children
What is the outward orientation of teachers on the personal model of interaction with children? First of all, it is necessary to note that this or that type of orientation of teachers finds its direct expression in the choice of the priority impact strategy. At present, there are three main impact strategies in science: imperative, manipulative and developing. 
An imperative strategy of influence is an impact whose purpose is to control the behavior and attitudes of another person, their reinforcement and direction in the right direction. In extreme expression, the imperative action is the direct compulsion of the individual. The implementation of an imperative strategy occurs most often where a person, due to various circumstances, has limited capacity to carry out an independent choice of actions or decisions.
Manipulative impact strategy is the implicit introduction of goals, desires, intentions, attitudes or attitudes that do not coincide with those that are present in him (the person) at the given moment (the manipulator of the human psyche) [D.
Developing impact strategy - is aimed at a positive change in personality, is built on the basis of subject-subject relations of people in the process of interaction. It is based on a dialogue based on the principles of openness, non-value, tolerance and acceptance by partners in each other's interaction.
From what has been said it is clear that educators oriented to the personal model of interaction with children are more likely to adhere to the development strategy of influence. Let's characterize some forms of its practical implementation.
The teacher's ability to connect children to his goals and tasks, as well as his ability to connect to the goals and tasks of children. Teaching interaction can only be considered as non-violent interaction, when children with desire, voluntarily perform what they want, what the teacher proposes to do. One way to achieve this is to connect them to the goals and objectives that the teacher puts forward. This means that the teacher must learn to fully self-fulfill in one or another activity, in one or another lesson. In other words, he achieves such a state when the material he presents becomes paramount, when he is working at the limit of his possibilities, is carried away by activity. This creates a unique emotional background, which accompanies the process of self-building of the individual. The state of self-actualization is passed on to the children, they seem to combine their individual creative system of self-building of the personality with the self-building system of the teacher's personality, they rise, let for a while, before the teacher, experience their "I" in unison with I the person who is working with them at the moment.
No less important role, from the point of view of organizing non-violent interaction, is played by the teacher's ability to connect to the tasks of the child. This ability to get carried away by what the child is currently engaged in, to get carried away sincerely, with full return, the ability to take on his interests, desires, goals and expand them, including by including in this process their own pedagogical goals and objectives. This is achieved when the teacher draws the children to their own experience, to their own "I". Based on the experience of children, even if he is small, the teacher, taking into account his goals and objectives, achieves the orientation of activities in the right direction for him, and this activity of the teacher is freely, without compulsion, taken by children who comprehend everything from the standpoint of their own experience.
A lesser effect will be given by the reception of students' connection to the personal experience of the teacher, to his I & quot ;, especially in cases when the experience of the children themselves is clearly insufficient.
Providing subjective freedom in the choice of content, methods and forms of activity. A person only actively and with desire joins in activities when he perceives it not as imposed, but as meaningful and interesting, chosen by himself. Recall that no one can be objectively free, but to feel subjectively free is a very real task. Being subjectively free means being able to make choices. When a person makes a choice, he assumes true responsibility, because the answer is not so much to other people as to himself, to his own conscience, which is a moral guide and directs his behavior in the right direction.
What is the expression of freedom for the teacher? Each teacher should be able to choose the content, methods and forms of their own activities. At first glance it may seem that it is very easy to make a choice. In fact, the problem is more complicated, and its successful solution depends on many factors and specific circumstances. According to our observations, even in those educational institutions where opportunities for choice are provided, often some teachers prefer to give it up. The well-known principle, described by E. Fromm, is a flight from freedom. For example, in one pilot school, teachers were given the opportunity to work on a free program: "Do whatever you want, do whatever you want." After a while, a group of teachers asked the head teacher to return to work under the previous program. Of course, it's much easier to work by stereotype, using proven methods, using role-playing behavior, role masks, than working creatively, taking full responsibility for what you are doing. Therefore, the teacher himself, before learning to grant a certain freedom to students, must learn to provide it to himself. And this task is not simple, because it requires a certain personal state, a sense of its strength and competence, confidence and independence.
The use of the principle of subjective freedom also requires a different attitude to the subjects at school. As is known, up to now the school's task has been to educate, which meant studying certain sciences: physics, chemistry, mathematics, language, literature, history, etc. From the point of view of nonviolent pedagogy, this thesis must be turned over: not personality studies various kinds of science in order to be literate and educated, and various educational disciplines act as means of personal development. Newton's law is not studied by a schoolboy, but develops his thinking, broadens his horizons, comprehends this law.
A teacher who freely chooses the content, methods and forms of working with students should provide them with the same opportunity. For example, you can collectively choose a topic for study, agree on the initial tasks that the teacher places on the interests of students, the form of the lesson, and its structure. But most importantly, the student should be given the opportunity to choose such forms of work in which he is strong or, conversely, weak. In the first case, it consolidates self-confidence, in the second - it is focused on acquiring certainty. Of course, it is difficult to realize this integration of choice in practice. But if the teacher creates a calm, benevolent atmosphere and achieves full confidence in himself on the part of the student, then the consolidation and development of the strong qualities of his personality, as well as the overcoming of the weak, will be perceived as a personal achievement significant both for himself and for a close person - teacher.Overcoming anxiety, fear, feelings of inferiority. Even non-Freudians have proved that one of the characteristics of a person living in this world is a feeling of fundamental anxiety caused by the complexities of life and the need to solve numerous problems. Anxiety and fear are also generated by the fear of being insolvent in a given situation, the fear of sanctions and punishments. The deep side of this state is the fear associated with the fact that personal dignity will be humiliated, that a person will be forced to act as he does not want or does not know how. In this respect, students are no exception. They are constantly afraid of being untenable and humiliated. This is facilitated by authoritarian pedagogy, built on coercion, on compulsion. The existence of a developed system of appraisal activities aggravates the situation. Already from an early childhood the child knows that if he does not do something or does something wrong, he will be punished. When he grows up and until his death will pursue the opportunity to get the "deuce" in life.
Obviously, if we want to build interaction with children on a non-violent basis, we must radically revise the entire control system, make it more effective and indeed non-violent. It should meet the main requirement: do not contribute to the emergence of anxiety, feelings of inferiority and inferiority. This does not mean that it is necessary to eliminate punishment or negative evaluation, but that it should be used very carefully and in exceptional cases. The main emphasis should be shifted to positive appraisal activity. It is important to recognize for the child the right to decide when and how he will do something. This will give him the opportunity to independently distribute time, strength and not be afraid of unexpected humiliation, which can follow in the event that he does not know something or can not. It is important to build pedagogical activity and interaction in such a way as to bring the child to his conscience - it must ultimately be punished.
The teacher's ability to follow the natural course of life in a reflexive way. Many educators and psychologists agree that one of the most important abilities of a person is the ability to live by the present and not to experience without sufficient grounds the events of the future. In the opinion of E. Berne, for example, truly independent, free behavior can be achieved by awakening three abilities: inclusiveness in the present, spontaneity and intimacy: "Inclusion in the present" means the ability to see something specific or to hear, for example, as birds sing, and do it the way you know how to, and not the way you were taught. " [3, p. 152]. Spontaneity means the possibility of choice, the ability to decide for yourself what feelings ... to experience and how to express them " [3, p. 155]. Proximity is a spontaneous, game-free, open-minded behavior of a person who understands the environment, liberatedly, eidically perceives the world through the eyes of an unspoiled child who sincerely lives in the present [3, p. 155].
It is difficult to overestimate the significance of these ideas of E. Berne for the practice of teaching and upbringing. In order to be open to students, the educator must learn to live to the fullest extent of every moment of time, without suffering torments about the future. At the same time, he must listen to the "voice of conscience". and taking into account the existing standards adopted in society, make as few errors as possible. It is important to realize the effect of all the positive and negative forces of the life process and use them wisely. In other words, when included in the present, the teacher should be able to observe all processes from the outside, see their beginning and end, internal springs, possible undercurrents.
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