2.3.4. Psychological conditions for taking a non-violent position
What conditions must be created for a person to be able to accept the position of nonviolence? The question is very complex and ambiguous. Nevertheless, we will try to answer it. As such conditions we distinguish: self-acceptance of personality; the ability to overcome egocentrism and stereotypes; awareness of their own psychological defenses; developing a tolerant attitude towards people. Let us dwell on them in more detail.
Accepting your own personality
The problem of acceptance by a person of one's own personality is being intensively developed in modern psychology. In traditional psychoanalysis, as well as in modern concepts of humanistic psychology, mechanisms and ways of self-acceptance are analyzed, specific psychotherapeutic methods are proposed that facilitate this process. Let us turn to some aspects of this problem in the light of the psychology of nonviolence.
First of all, it should be noted that in psychological studies of different directions, there are such fundamental concepts as It and Shadow. K. Jung was one of the first to distinguish three components in the human psyche: "I", "Mask" and Shadow & quot ;. Shadow interpreted by him as a set of dark drives, some motivations that contradict the general orientation of the individual. In his works, K. Jung points out the importance of detecting the "Shadow", which is a condition for acquiring immunity with respect to external interference and violence. "If we could see our Shadow (the dark side of our nature)," writes Jung, "we would be immune to moral and intellectual infection and interference" [25, p. 417].
Even more, the idea of accepting one's own personality is realized in the eternal psychology of K. Wilber, who distinguishes different levels of the spectrum of consciousness: the Mind level, the transpersonal area, the existential level, the level It and the Shadow level. Analyzing the level of the Shadow, K. Wilber notes: "Under the influence of various circumstances, a person can alienate various aspects of his own psyche, stop recognizing himself in them, disidentify himself, thereby narrowing the scope of his personality, reducing it only to those constituent parts of These are the ones that correspond with the person. This level belongs to the Shadow: a person identifies himself with a depleted and distorted self-image - the image of himself (ie, persona), with the rest of his psychic inclinations, those that seem too painful, "bad", "disastrous" or undesirable, alienated as the contents of the Shadow [20, p. 472].
The idea of misidentification and identification is most vividly represented in the concept of R. Assadjoli's psychosynthesis . He notes that a person can be identified with both the positive strengths of his personality, and with negative traits and qualities. The task is to be able to identify with the whole person as a whole (accept oneself) - with both strong and weak sides. The main way he sees in psychosynthesis, i.e. in the union of the real I with a higher I through intermediaries, in which capacity God can act, an idea, another person.
The most consistently the problem of making yourself solved in humanistic psychology. This idea is fundamental in the concept of K. Rogers. Accepting yourself is the conversion of a person to your true I (ideal "I"), which is achieved through a return to one's own experience, as opposed to being converted to a social environment that imposes on man forms and modes of behavior, a certain vision of himself. 
Thus, to accept oneself means to understand what a person identifies with himself, to find out that he goes to the Shadow realm (realize this), finally, to make the unacceptable property of his own experience, an integral part of his personality. Accepting yourself is not a struggle with yourself, with your own, for example negative qualities (to fight against yourself - to commit violence against your own personality), but the ability to find in your weak qualities and manifestations a positive, the ability to replace it with another positive , for not causing negative emotional experiences. Some ways to solve this problem can be found, in particular, in positive psychotherapy .
What does acceptance mean? Special studies show that acceptance of self serves as an important prerequisite for non-violent treatment of other people, accepting them with all positive and negative manifestations. The failure to accept oneself, the signal of which is low self-esteem, a sense of insecurity, determines both the negative perception of others, the desire to take an authoritarian position. "A teacher who is inclined to feel insecure," R. Burns writes, "is often identified with authoritarian roles, which entails both excessive cruelty and power in behavior, as well as a desire to assert itself at any price in the eyes of his subordinates, ie, learners [3, p. 311].
At the same time, modern research shows that self-acceptance without a pronounced desire for self-improvement turns into complacency. You can completely accept yourself and do nothing for your own personal growth. From the point of view of subjective satisfaction with yourself and feeling yourself a psychologically healthy person, this is, indeed, a powerful lever to support self-respect at a high level. In the objective sense, such a person is often subject to stagnation. Only by fully accepting himself and simultaneously denoting prospects for further self-development, a person can self-actualize, realize in life. In particular, SM Rogozhnikova's study on teachers, in which we will dwell in more detail in Chapter 4, showed that the optimal combination of self-acceptance with a pronounced tendency toward self-improvement provides the teacher with an orientation toward a personal model of interaction with students. 
Thus, a high level of self-acceptance, coupled with a desire for self-improvement, enables a person to clearly identify their strengths and weaknesses, understand themselves, achieve inner harmony and resolve emerging intrapersonal conflicts, set and solve problems of designing themselves.
Awareness of own psychological defenses
As you know, aggressive, hostile behavior often acts as a kind of psychological defense, which gives the person a sense of their own worth and strength.
For the first time, defense mechanisms were investigated by Freud and analyzed in detail and described by A. Freud .
The problem of protection in gestalt therapy, which distinguishes four neurotic mechanisms that prevent the individual from attaining psychological health and maturity: fusion, retroflection, introjection, projection , is originally solved. Merging occurs when a person can not differentiate himself and others. It is easy to determine by the primary use of the pronoun We instead of I & quot ;. In retroflection, on the contrary, the boundary between the person and the environment is shifted toward "I". The initial conflict between the I and others turns into an intrapersonal conflict. Introjection is the appropriation of beliefs, the views of other people without critical thinking. Projection is the desire of a person to shift responsibility for what happens to his personality to other people.
In domestic psychology, a point of view is accepted, according to which everything that promotes the removal or reduction of psychological discomfort can act as psychological protections.
To date, there is a sufficient number of publications, which consider the various aspects of the manifestation of psychological defenses. For example, let's turn to the work of TS Yatsenko, in which a special section is devoted to the problem of psychological protection of the person. The author notes that psychological protection provides both "security" and "defenselessness" personality.
Security is provided by:
1) a wide range of protective equipment;
2) susceptibility to such qualities of other people that give the opportunity for the approval of their own "I";
3) a decrease in the emotional intensity of the subject;
4) the extraordinary variability of protective equipment;
5) positive feedback, reinforcing protection;
6) the emergence of a subjective sense of the integrity of the personality structure;
7) positive feelings during the most protective process;
8) the desire to reflect the maximum amount of information for defensive purposes;
9) the system organization of the protective process;
10) high energy charge protection;
11) the hope of success in the defense process;
12) maintaining the sense of authenticity and infallibility of the qualities of "I".
To the factors that create a real "defenselessness" subject, include:
1) deviation from reality, which is penetrated by the whole protective activity;
2) the centralization on my own I In the presence of a tendency to minimize the importance of "I" others;
3) constriction, blocking and distortion of feedback that does not support the desire of one's own "I";
4) distrust of yourself;
5) reducing the level of control and freedom of action for choice [26, p. 50-52].
Many psychologists note that the defending personality is prone to ill-will, hostility, conflict, i.e. takes the position of coercion. For example, teachers of preschool institutions, oriented to the educational and disciplinary model, apart from all other negative manifestations, are characterized by uncertainty, anxiety, and a wide range of protections . In the professional sphere, most often it defends one's own incompetence, the inability to organize children in non-violent ways, the orientation toward the opinions of others with externally demonstrated independence. All this ultimately determines both the orientation toward the educational and disciplinary interaction model and the authoritarian leadership style based on the position of coercion.
Awareness of your psychological defenses is an important condition for accepting the position of nonviolence. Awareness is painless if it is expressed verbally and emotionally, finds full support and understanding of other people. Experience shows that the protected, when others know about it, loses its energy potential, and the anxiety experienced has its own positive, which can be used for real self-assertion.
When providing psychological assistance in the process of recognizing one's own defenses, it is important to consider the following points: where is the protected (consciousness, subconscious, unconscious); what specifically protects a person; from whom he defends (from himself or from others); how he wants to appear in his own eyes and the eyes of others, what protective mechanisms he uses.
Awareness of the level of self-centeredness and behavioral patterns
If you imagine a scale with egoism and altruism at its extreme poles, self-centeredness can be placed closer to egoism, and polycentrism (or assertiveness) is closer to altruism.
Selfishness is the desire to act only in the interests of one's own personality. Selfishness prevents the achievement of a state of nonviolence. The egoist is a person who does not stop at anything to achieve his own goals, including the need to perform coercive actions towards other people.Altruism is a person's ability to act for the sake of the interests of other people or the community as a whole, even if these interests conflict with one's own.
It should be noted that in pure form, egoistic and altruistic behavior is relatively rare, more often than not, people behave egocentrically, i.e. for the starting point of perception of the world take their own personality. Egocentrism is more studied in the cognitive sphere than in the social sphere. Nevertheless, the work of J. Piaget and his collaborators showed that many features peculiar to the child's egocentrism can be found in adults. As the well-known researcher of Piaget's concept LF Obukhov notes, "egocentrism is peculiar not only to the child, but also to the adult where he is guided by his spontaneous, naive and, therefore, not different, in fact, from children's judgments about things. Egocentrism is a spontaneous position that controls the child's mental activity in its origins; it persists for a lifetime in people who are at a low level of their development [7, p. 35-36]. An egocentric person always has his own point of view, his own position, which he regards as correct. Therefore, the tasks that he has to solve are perceived as paramount. This leads to the desire to act in accordance with their beliefs and not to accept the convictions of others, to solve their own problems without taking into account the interests and needs of others. Where a person acts egotistically, the likelihood of coercive action is very high.
For the egocentric, the following typical behavioral traits are typical:
- he believes his way of life, views, his actions to be true; if others live and act differently, it causes first - condemnation, then - opposition, in the future - coercion, and, finally, - aggression;
- he has rigid expectations about the behavior of other people; if they are not justified, they have a negative emotional experience, oriented toward changing the behavior of others in the expected direction;
- he lives up to the expectations of the reward in any of its forms; the absence of reward is perceived as injustice, causes resentment, worsens relations, stimulates acceptance of the position of coercion;
- he has a natural psychological defense, freeing himself from other people's hard work, coming to their point of view, changing his own convictions and views.
The above characteristics of the egocentric behavior of a person testify that overcoming egocentrism is an important condition for achieving the maturity of the personality, accepting the position of nonviolence.
How can you overcome egocentrism? LF Obukhova, analyzing Piaget's point of view on this problem, identifies two basic conditions: "the first is to realize my" I " as a subject and separate the subject from the object; the second is to coordinate one's own point of view with others, and not treat it as the only possible " [7, p. 37].
In the activities of a teacher (educator), egocentrism is expressed in the so-called pedagogical stereotypes. By definition, N. Yu. Postalyuk, "Pedagogical stereotypes are behavioral, cognitive or affective standards, on which educators orient themselves in their professional and pedagogical activity" .
In the work of IA Buchilova  an attempt is made to define concrete stereotypes of the teacher on four grounds:
1) stereotypical statements regarding the pedagogical profession and the personality of the teacher (autostereotypes);
2) stereotypical statements regarding children;
3) stereotypical statements regarding parents;
4) stereotypical statements regarding methods of upbringing and learning.
In relation to their profession, educators tend to adhere to negative stereotypes: "the pedagogical profession is very ungrateful", "being a teacher means giving up your family" and others
In relation to children, the following negative stereotypes are typical: "good is the child who fulfills all the requirements of the teacher", "bad child is coarse, evil, impudent, aggressive, rancorous, pugnacious, conflictful, stubborn, unruly, naughty. , hooligan, selfish, capricious, disruptive & quot ;, etc.
In relation to parents, the following negative stereotypes are most pronounced: "most parents do not educate their child", "most parents do not properly educate their children."In the sphere of relations to the administration, one can name such stereotypical statements as "the demands of the administration must be met", the requirements of the administration are not always objective. "
In general, IA Buchilov notes that in one way or another the influence of stereotypes affects up to 70% of teachers.
It can be concluded that in order for any person to overcome egocentrism, it is necessary, first, to learn how to decenter, ie, take the opposite position of the subject on interaction; secondly - to overcome those stereotypical judgments that formed the basis of his worldview and interaction with other people.
Acquisition of Tolerance
Awareness of the level of one's own egocentrism, overcoming stereotypes is possible only if the person is capable of tolerance.
Tolerance is a complex quality of personality that characterizes an active attitude of a person towards something that does not correspond to her opinion and ideas. Ultimately, tolerance is the ability to accept the opinions of others and these others themselves as given, as an existing reality, the ability to be not irritated, not to feel humiliated, resentful or superior.
Thus, we see that tolerance is an organic part of non-violent interaction and acts as the leading condition for its adoption.
In characterizing this concept, it should first of all be noted that the term "tolerance" is often used as a synonym for the concept of "tolerance". Here there are some objective prerequisites, conditioned by the peculiarities of the United States language. Tolerance in translation into United States is tolerance. However, historically, in the domestic psychological science, these concepts are often used in different meanings. Therefore, we are forced to conduct some comparative and qualitative psychological analysis.
First, tolerance or tolerance can act in a broad social context as a certain principle of life and people's relations in a complex and changing world. And here it is even preferable to use the term tolerance.
Secondly, tolerance and tolerance are specific psychological characteristics of people, manifested in interaction.
In the first case, as it is written in the Declaration of Principles of Tolerance (UNESCO), tolerance means respect, acceptance and understanding of the diversity of cultures of our world. This is not only a moral duty, but also a legal and political need. Through tolerance, it becomes possible to achieve peace, advance from the culture of war to a culture of peace. The well-known United States psychologist A. G. Asmolov put it very figuratively about it, defining tolerance as the art of living in a world of dissimilar people and ideas.
In the second case, when we are talking about the actual psychological level of the problem analysis, the situation is more complicated. Here as equals, as we have already noted, terms and tolerance are used, and tolerance. Let's try to understand this question.
Tolerance in psychology is traditionally understood as emotional resistance to adverse environmental factors. For example, they talk about tolerance to stress, tolerance to anxiety, tolerance to conflict. In any case, tolerance is associated with a decrease in sensitivity to stressors.
The concept of tolerance has a deeper content and moral saturation. It means understanding and reconciling different interests and points of view without using violence.
Thus, in psychology, tolerance and tolerance are different ways of treating a person to reality, to unfavorable factors of the social environment impact associated with a decrease or increase in sensitivity to them. The arguments are as follows.
First, both tolerant and tolerant attitude is actualized when opinions, assessments, beliefs, behavior, etc. other people do not coincide with opinions, assessments, expectations of the subject of interaction. This unites the above concepts.
Secondly, they are distinguished by the fact that they perform different functions. Tolerance will make it possible to adapt to unfavorable factors, i.e. Tolerance is adaptive. You can talk about tolerance to anxiety, tolerance to another's faith. Tolerance, in addition to the adaptive function, also performs an active function, that is, it gives the opportunity to change someone else's opinion, the behavior of another person, but without using coercion. For example, the tolerance algorithm for someone else's opinion includes the following steps:
- the perception of someone else's opinion is not as "someone else's", but as "other", not coinciding with the opinion of the subject;
- interest in someone else's opinion, the desire to understand it;
- differentiation of the attitude to someone else's opinion: something is being accepted, something is not accepted;
- the desire to interact positively with the opposite side: either to convince your opponent of your rightness, or to allow yourself to be convinced if the arguments of the opposing party are weighty and conclusive; if opinions do not converge, the position of the other is accepted as a given, and one's own position receives an additional impulse in the form of the right to exist.
Thirdly, these personality properties differ in the psychological mechanisms underlying them. To them we refer patience and acceptance. The leading mechanism of tolerance is patience (self-control, self-control, self-control), which makes it possible to lower the threshold of sensitivity to unfavorable factors.
The adoption of another mechanism of tolerance is receding into the background and in some cases may not be actualized at all. The main mechanism of tolerance, on the contrary, becomes the acceptance of something (something) as a given (understanding, empathy, assertiveness), patience, stepping back to the background, does not lose its potential and is actively used personality.
The above considerations make it possible to give the following definitions of tolerance and tolerance.
By tolerance we mean the attitude towards people, views, yourself, etc., which is actualized in a situation of discrepancy of views, values, ways of behavior and manifests itself in increasing sensitivity (sensitivity) to the object at the expense of involving the mechanisms of acceptance (understanding, empathy, assertiveness) and patience (self-control, self-control, self-control).
Tolerance, in turn - the attitude towards people, views, themselves, etc., manifested, on the contrary, in reducing sensitivity to objects through the use of the mechanisms of patience. Acceptance recedes into the background or is not updated at all.
Consider the question of the psychological mechanisms of the emergence of tolerance and tolerance. A mechanism is usually understood as a sequence of states, processes, properties that ensure the functioning of a more complex system, the action of something.
The leading psychological mechanism for the emergence of tolerance is patience. Patience can be both a condition, and quality, and property of the person. Its function is to contain impulsive states and human actions. At the heart of patience are such volitional qualities of personality as self-control, self-control and self-control.
Exposure makes it possible to slow down the influence of impulsive, often thoughtless actions, which hinder the successful progress toward the goal.
Self-control allows not only to restrain an impulsive action such as an exposure, but also to redistribute the energy between several impulses and actions. For example, an unpleasant person, with whom negotiations are conducted, causes in the interlocutor feelings of dislike, contempt and fear. The first desire is to stop the dialogue or be rude. With the help of excerpt, partners restrain themselves, and with the help of self-control - redistribute attention from mutual hostility to the interests of the cause. Thus, in the excerpt, the main thing is the deterrent, and in the self-possession - the redistribution.
Endurance and self-control are closely related to self-control, i.e. ability to be aware of their actions, state, behavior in general, not to allow deviation from the samples assigned by society or the individual.
Patience, as a mental state, can become stable and become patient, which is already a personal property.
Let us now turn to acceptance, as a mechanism of tolerance. Its essence lies in the ability of the individual to include the other in his individual space by understanding, empathy, assertive behavior.
The ability to accept refers to the basic characteristic of the personality. It characterizes the measure of its maturity and is based on trust and a sense of closeness of people to each other.
Accepting others is facilitated by understanding. Understanding is inherently the ability to react not to the act itself, but to the underlying motives, the ability to build and explain the logical chains of behavior of another person, to see behind all this deep motivation.
Empathy plays a special role in this process. It allows, through sympathy, empathy, assistance to stand on the position of another person, emotionally identify with his inner world, strengthen or weaken his experiences.
Acceptance, as a psychological mechanism of a tolerant relationship, is closely related to assertiveness. Assertiveness has three meanings: self-confidence and a willingness to take responsibility for one's actions; constructive approach to problem solving; desire not to infringe on others' interests.
Thus, the leading psychological mechanism for a tolerant attitude is patience, while acceptance is receding into the background and in some cases may not be actualized at all. The leading mechanism of tolerant attitude, on the contrary, is the acceptance of something as a given, as an objectively existing reality, patience, stepping back to the background, does not lose its potential and is actively used by the person.
All this allows us to draw an important conclusion that tolerance is a hierarchically higher level, characterizing the measure of a person's moral behavior. Tolerance can exist independently, outside the manifestations of tolerance mechanisms. Tolerance, in turn, is necessarily based on the mechanisms of tolerance as the starting point for manifestations of adoption of the "alien", "other", "unlike" and the like.
Next, we proceeded from the premise that each person, depending on the situation and the position he occupies (from above, next, from below), can demonstrate a different system of relations (Table 3).
◘ Kinds of tolerant, intolerant and tolerant attitudes depending on the position occupied by the person in interaction (according to E. Yu. Kleptsova )
Position from above
Position next to
Position from below
A certain kind of relationship can become fixed during a lifetime, become stable and determine the behavior strategy, regardless of the specific situation. Then we will talk about typical features of a person who in the process of interaction begin to prefer this or that tactic of behavior.
This occurs as a result of actualization and consolidation of certain psychological mechanisms. If self-control begins to dominate, self-control and self-control, then patience and tolerance come to the fore as a form of attitude to reality. If, on this basis, the mechanisms of understanding, empathy and assertiveness begin to function (the ability to achieve one's goals without causing damage to others), then on the basis of tolerance, tolerance begins to appear more and more.
It follows from the foregoing that tolerance can be formed only on the basis of tolerance, since patience is the basis for preventing impulsive behavior, without the excerpt underlying it, one can not actualize or form mechanisms of acceptance, empathy and assertiveness.< center>
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