Receptions of upbringing - Theory of teaching and upbringing

Parenting methods

Along with methods in educational practice methods of upbringing are widely used. Reception is a pedagogically designed act of interaction between subjects of upbringing aimed at achieving a specific educational task. Reception is the method element. Techniques help to significantly diversify the methods of education. Appliances are used alone or in combination with various methods. So, for example, the method of suggestion we can accompany with psychological stroking, supplement with hidden instruction, strengthen with instructive history. Pedagogical situations are open to search for new solutions, so it is not possible to list all the techniques available in the pedagogical arsenal. Let us dwell on the most common methods in teaching practice.

Active listening. The method of interaction based on the teacher's ability to tune in to the emotional wave of the child (listen and hear him), the desire to understand his feelings and unobtrusively offer help. The condition for successful application of this method is the aspiration of the educator to enter the zone of the child's experiences and to voice his feelings: "I see that you are upset. Can I help you? Inadmissible negligent attitude to what became for the child an object of experience. For example, if a child is upset with a quarrel with a friend, the unfortunate phrase will be: Found something to get frustrated with! Do not impose your child's help if he does not ask for it. By his non-interference the educator informs: "You will manage yourself!" It should be remembered that the educator should not assume all the emotional problems of the child, sometimes the pupil himself must find a way out of the situation. But the child should have a feeling that he will not be left alone with the problem and, if necessary, will help.

Generous forgiveness. The method is based on showing mercy in respect of a certain fault of the pupil. If a child for each of his small and large fault was adequately punished, his life would turn into a total nightmare. Forgiving, the educator realizes that the pupil can not behave differently. But forgiveness does not mean that in the future the pupil can do anything. The educator should raise the bar to the pupil, indicating clearly what he should strive for.

Contract . This is a mutually beneficial agreement. Concluding the agreement, it is important to take into account the interests of the two sides. Restrictions should be provided also for two parties. For example: "Let's agree, you walk with a dog, and I feed it". This method will only work if both parties voluntarily take on and discharge certain obligations and fulfill them. The advantages of this method are that the child is given the role of an equal participant in the educational process.

Natural consequences. Using this method gives the child the opportunity to feel the consequences of his actions. Broke - repair, contaminated - wash, lost - do without the right thing, etc. In this case, the punishment of the caregiver for the deed is eliminated. The situation itself raises the destructive behavior. The child easily understands the fairness of the consequences, which he himself must eliminate. Admission is effective enough, but it should be remembered that a child does not have a measure in himself and the experience he will gain may require him to be seriously deprived.

Replacing an action. Obviously, children from time to time carry out actions that become for some reason undesirable to others (noise, grab, pull, scribble, etc.). Infinite bans are unproductive for the development of educational relations. It is pedagogically more advisable to offer the child an attractive substitute for its destructive actions. For example, draw a new felt-tip pen on a large sheet, instead of scribbling on walls.

Deprivation of friendship (love, affection). Children, as a rule, value good relations with parents (educators) and feel the need for friendship with adults. If the educational process is carried out in an atmosphere of love and affection, the children are keenly aware when, but for some reason, they are deprived of such an arrangement (the child is not smiled, is not stroked, plans are not discussed with him, etc.). Children certainly want to return a good disposition.

Offer of choice. The reception is based on a soft overcoming of resistance to educational influence. When there is a hard pressure, there is always a desire to resist it. Giving the choice leaves for the person the right to an independent decision. The choice should not imply a refusal to fulfill the requirements by type: Do you want to - do not want to do it. " The choice involves meeting the requirements, but taking into account personal circumstances. It is important to offer equivalent options: will you wash dishes or clean toys?

Request . Assumes an appeal to the person, calling to satisfy any needs, any desire of the applicant. When addressing the request, the teacher expects that the pupil will be ready to show sensitivity. At the same time, the one who makes the request must initially be ready to refuse. It is useful in case of refusal to use positive instrumentation (justification of refusal), which will save the person and the applicant, and the person to whom they are applying. It is absolutely unacceptable to request to supplement the order.

Clarifying positions. The reception is based on a clear, clear statement of your attitude towards an action or behavior. This may sound like this: "I will never agree that you can take and spend the total money at your discretion without agreement." The use of this technique excludes discussion or dispute. When there is some kind of temptation, the student clearly knows how the teacher or parent will treat this. He has no opportunity to entertain himself with the illusion that one can justify his behavior. He understands that if he succumbs to temptation, he will receive at best disapproval.

Psychological stroking. Gives a person a sense of comfort, relieves psychological clamps and makes them open to productive interaction. It is extremely important for a person to feel that he is loved, that he is accepted. Psychological stroking may look like this: "I'm glad to see you!" "You did it perfectly!". Psychological stroking should be accompanied by a pose of interest, a benevolent smile. Psychological stroking can also be used for manipulation purposes.

Allowing a Prohibited. Confused by a large number of rules, the child feels himself under constant control. It is extremely difficult to remain in the system of prohibitions, therefore, even if the educator is consistent in his educational requirements, sometimes (if the situation requires it) one can solve what was forbidden: eat the whole box of chocolates, stay up all night, swear, etc. This method acts as a shock therapy, so the teacher needs a high sense of measure, intuition, so that the permission of the forbidden does not work out a new norm. The meaning of this method is that, after trying the forbidden, the pupil himself deliberately refused it.

Contact break. Interrupting contact, the educator clearly and categorically states his position on the behavior of the pupil. The pupil is recognized as responsible for the deed, and the contact break is a form of protection of the teacher against the arbitrariness of the pupil. "From this moment on I do not hear your requests." This extremely rigid form is acceptable if softer measures do not work. Such a device will have its effect if the pupil really wants to communicate and the contact break will be experienced as a significant event.

A hidden instruction. In the event that the pupil can not or does not want to find the right decision, and the direct instruction will be perceived by them disapprovingly, this technique helps to remove the internal conflict and direct the activity of the individual to search for productive solutions . The hidden statement looks like this: "I'm usually in such situations ..."; I heard that you can use this technique ... & quot ;. A hidden instruction is a veiled help to a child. The teacher in this case does not go into the beliefs and explanations of the need to perform this or that action, but unobtrusively suggests the concrete steps, the option of further behavior, leaving the final choice of behavior for the child.

Drawing up a problem scheme. The reception is based on the typicality of many life situations. A person who is inside a particular situation can not objectively evaluate it, because he is subject to emotions. Drawing up a scheme of the problem helps to get rid of unnecessary feelings, which contributes to the emergence of common sense. This is already the beginning of the search for a productive way to solve the problem.

Time out (pause). It often happens that at the moment the pupil is not ready to accept the requirements that are presented to him, he can not adequately assess his actions. A teacher, aware of the justice of his demands, can "knock on the closed door", and may give the pupil time to realize his behavior. In this case, for example, this phrase is suitable: "We'll talk about it tomorrow." Thus, the teacher clearly expresses his negative attitude to the conduct of the pupil, makes it clear that he does not intend to surrender his positions, but does not want a different resolution of the situation. Sometimes the teacher himself needs time to regain composure, to comprehend the situation so that the conversation with the pupil is productive.

Arbitration court. Based on the recognition of the complexity of the situation and seeking help from an authoritative person for both sides. The opinion of this person must be recognized unconditionally by each party. So, children in a quarrel often turn to adults. In the relationship between a teacher and a pupil, the function of an arbitrator can be performed by another teacher, an occasional passer-by, and a training group. For example: "Let's ask the guys what they say". From the teacher depends on how correctly the arbitrator will be chosen. Applying this method, the educator should be ready to accept the opinion of the mediator even if this opinion differs from his own assessment of the situation.

Extinction . We often inadvertently reinforce unwanted behavior, for example, overly emotionally react to the child's whimper. Extinction is based on non-reinforcement - neither positively nor negatively - of undesirable behavior. In which case is it appropriate?

This is normal, if a five-year-old child complains to the educator about other children, this will pass with age. It's just not worthwhile for any complaint to arrange detailed proceedings and even more to praise the complainant for their vigilance.

Elimination of temptations. The reception is based on the release of the pupil from the problem of choice. When, let's say, a child must follow a diet, it is quite difficult for him to refuse harmful tasty foods. The absence of such products makes the situation easier. This relieves anxiety and unnecessary tension.

I-message . It is based on what the educator says about his feelings from the first person. It's important to talk about yourself, about your experience, and not about the behavior of the child: "I'm upset"; I'm very pleased & quot ;; I'm surprised & quot ;. As a matter of fact, we are replacing the familiar "You-message", which usually sounds like this: "You're hindering me!", - on the "I-message": "It's hard to explain in such a noise." The benefits of replacing the You-messages I-message is that the pupil does not feel accused. I-message allows you to establish a more open and trusting relationship. It is important for the educator to remember his interests: he has the right to rest, for personal time, for a respectful attitude.

In order to build productive relations, it is important not only to be able to use the methods, the position of the educator is of fundamental importance. The teacher should be set up to dialogue with the pupil, strive to disclose his life force, provide the necessary help and support.

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