Attachment style and relationships

Robert Sternberg's (1988) triangular theory of love recognizes these three dimensions as the major the different parts of love.

Passion is the motivational component of love and displays attraction, romance, and libido. Intimacy involves thoughts of closeness, trust, and the showing of your respective innermost thoughts. Intimacy as well can be an essential element of the loving relationship and typically, it expands gradually as associates reveal increasingly more of themselves to one another. Commitment is your choice to maintain a long-term caring relationship and it leads partners to think about themselves as "us", rather than "me personally", and "him" of "her. "

According to Sternberg's style of love (1988), the three components, interest, intimacy, and dedication, form the vertices of your triangle. Their various combinations create seven basic subtypes of love - Liking love, infatuated love, romantic love, vacant love, companionate love, fatuous love and consummate love. They might not exactly all be weighted evenly but do worry some weight. You can have any one minus the other one or two. Other aspects of love such as nurturing and caring are just a little harder to establish from each other but they fit under one of the components that Sternberg's uses.

Robert Sternberg's triangular theory identifies these three dimensions as key the different parts of love and various combinations of the dimensions may deliver different kinds of love. For instance, companionate love combines intimacy with commitment, or romantic love combines enthusiasm with intimacy and dedication.

This part of the triangle recognizes different types of love which exist. The first one is Affectionate love, which is a combination of intimacy and enthusiasm. The second is fatuous love. This combines love and commitment. Previous is companionate love concerning intimacy and dedication.

Romantic love is a mixture of intimacy and interest. It tends not to last because there is not commitment. When the passion dies and the intimacy fades, the individuals no longer feel in love plus they go their distinct ways. Romantic enthusiasts aren't only drawn to one another actually they are also bonded emotionally. Dedication is not really a necessary part of affectionate love though

Fatuous love is love with enthusiasm and commitment but it lacks intimacy. The few meets one day and becomes involved and soon after that they get hitched. The commitment is made over a basis of passion without any romantic relations. Intimate relations take a longer time to build up and cannot be established in that short amount of time that they have known one another.

Companionate love comes from a blend of intimacy and decision/dedication. It is an extended term, committed friendship. This type of love usually occurs when the physical interest, a sizable role in interest, in a marriage has gone. This sort of love, or it could be called just plain liking, is exactly what helps few stay alongside one another and bring children in to the world. Most loving relationships that do survive eventually turn into companionate love. The enthusiasm melts and the intimacy stays put.

The intimacy and passion and dedication make-up the component of consummate love. All three of the components must be there in the relationship. Everyone strives in an enchanting relationship for this love. However, it can be very difficult to obtain. Not every relationship seeks consummate love, most are saved for the partnership that you are feeling you will be the most connected to. Attaining this love is very hard also to keep it is even more challenging. People do not seek this love with every romantic relationship. It is meant for the loved ones that mean the most to the individual as well as for the people that will complete that particular person.

When there can be an lack of all three components, it is considered to be non-love. The social relationships with good friends and casual relationships, which do not expect a lot more that the role of acquaintances with no physical attraction. Examples of non-love are co-workers, friends of friends, some educators and professors, the lunch time women whom you interact with but are not personal or any personal interest to start a love marriage.

Part II

As children, we think that if the interest that we desire is achieved, along with the love, care, determination, and the dedication that we receive from our parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles; our trust in people, especially into the ones where whom were close to will allow us a feeling of steadiness and encouragement. This steadiness and encouragement can help shape our lives as children, for the connections to come. We are able to deal with the different troubles, which we will come across throughout life; with a higher sense or degree of autonomy from the nurture, we received within our proximities as children. This demonstrates how aspect, our inherent propensity to connection and nurture, the responsiveness of our caregivers, help shape public ties

From within our first attachments as children, we will know if our parents are warm and responsive, wintry and rejecting, or ambivalent and inconsistent by the way that parents interact with their children. To connect back to the triangular theory of love, for a secure attachment style to take place, children should experience a warm and reactive feeling of attachment from their parents and caregivers. Parents whom are frosty and rejecting towards their children, and parents whom are inconsistent, their children will experience little if any sense of security using their company parents or caregivers. Therefore, children who experience wintry and rejecting parenting styles screen avoidant connection, and children who experience inconsistent parenting styles screen anxious attachment.

As children due to characteristics and nurture, we received because of the types of attachment styles we inherit; our mature love relationships are affected. Dynamics, being the child inherent must bond and belong; and nurture the parental responsiveness to the child, both contributes to the connection styles children develop as parents of their love associations.

Secure adults find it easy to get close to others and are unconcerned about becoming too based mostly or being, forgotten. Their interactions are, characterized by pleasure, trust, and camaraderie. They seem able to recognize and support their spouse regardless of faults, and their interactions endure much longer. Avoidant adults tend to be less invested in relationships and more likely to leave them. Some appear to be fearful, while some are dismissing. These kinds of relationships are, marked by mental highs and lows. They are also more likely to acquire brief intimate encounters without love, corresponding to our weeks reading materials. For stressed parents, love is obsession; these men and women are less trusting, demand reciprocation, and are generally more possessive and jealous. They may break up repeatedly with the same person. When speaking about differences, they often times get mental and upset.

There are three components, which contribute to attachment; they can be closeness, care, and commitment. Close physical closeness is the context where children and adult attachments unfold. The motives are marginally different; however, nevertheless identical in passion. For children there are proximity and security, as well as for people there are interest of intimate attraction; therefore passion. In both types of relationships, close physical contact fosters an emotional bond. Proximity brings us mutually, and the amount to which attachment provides care, including both comfort and mental support, grows over time.

Over time, determination makes the safe haven a base of security. Using a regularly available, supportive, and reassuring caregiver, one can confidently confront life's day-to-day challenges.

Most parents are normally committed to their children. Alternatively, adult connections are, chosen, and we must develop commitment to our life associates. Closeness, health care, and commitment constitute the stuff of which attachment and love is made.

Social attachments are important to your personal happiness and have enabled our survival as a varieties. Childhood attachments and adult romantic attachments are designated by physical closeness, nurturing, and long-term determination. Both aspect and nurture are necessary factors in shaping connection style, and our patterns of relating can transform. (Bolt, 2004).


  1. Sternberg, Robert. Triangle of Love. 1988
  2. Sternberg, Robert J. and Barnes, Michael L. The Psychology of Love. 1988.

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