English psychoanalytic school, Melanie Klein - Psychoanalysis...

Part 3. English Psychoanalytic School

Chapter 12. Melanie Klein

The American psychoanalyst Erich Fromm believed that the woman is to commit two feats in life. The first is to bear and give birth to a child, the second - to let him go on his own way. Is it possible for any mother to fulfill this purpose? Is it always an ideal for a daughter or a son? Loving, sacrificial, virtuous ... Many of my patients complain about their parents. They tell us how strange they are, how they offended their children when they grew up. One patient constantly wrote to me in her diary: "Not-on-the-wow!". It's about the mother.

It is not difficult to collect grievances against parents. Alas, both the mother and the father are not angels. They are ordinary mortals who have their passions, desires, inclinations. In addition, childhood trauma, as shown by psychoanalysis, largely determine life's fate. Mama actress Natalia Gundareva did not want to recognize the first love of her daughter: "This is not the person you need!". The actress then had other husbands, but she was never happy in marriage. It turns out that my mother herself broke the fate of her daughter.

Any person combines the past, the present and the future. Your parents, yourself and your children. A new life is born in the womb of an ordinary earthly woman. There is no other way to prolong the connection of generations with the Lord God. The Christian religion has learned this triune (ie, the integrity of the three terms) from this essence of man. And she made it sacred to understand the only law of life. Without the past, there is no present. Because there is no Son. Without the present, the future is impossible, because no one will pass the Covenant. In religious literature, the covenant is the agreement of man with God. A covenant is a good consent. AB Karlin writes in the "Literary Gazette": "If the river is wide, then the bridge is simply not to be thrown from shore to shore, it is necessary to put supports in the water -" bulls ". Each generation is such an "bull" supporting the spans that connect it with the previous generation and the future. There is such a technology when a new span is built on the previous support and advances to the next. From our parents we received an exceptionally strong "span". We stand on the shoulders of giants. "

And if it is not, this Testament? If parents failed to show this living connection of generations, the closeness of children and parents? If children could not realize their deep, sacred relationship with their parents? Then the Covenant is replaced in the soul of a person with a sijusecund order. The order. Then the future generation is not passed the Covenant, how to live, and the rules, how to survive. And then the continuity of life disappears. There remain people who do not have to take risks to defend the Covenant for future generations, but you just need to take advantage of the moment to sell something and buy something ... "You're a failure! The son of his mother shouts angrily. "You could not ensure my life!" The freeloader, by the way, is of good build, well-fed and well-groomed.

I can not forgive my mother. I saw her hug with a stranger. It was not Daddy, and I was shocked. I still can not forgive her. " But this patient just told me about how she secretly betrayed her husband, how happy she was in this sin ...

Christian religion tries to drive into our consciousness a simple truth of natural human existence - there is a past, present and future. They are related. The simple truth: the love of parents is due to the fact that they gave children life. Before this obvious fact, all other details of existence fade-child grievances, oddities and even the evils of parents, the difficulties of life itself. My patient is 25 years old. She cries, telling her that her mother betrayed her. When the girl was 15 years old, her mother took and died. Left the poor little one alone, doomed to tears and sorrow. As if my mother had died of her own free will. She was ill and herself, apparently, suffered painfully from the fact that she would never see her daughter as an adult, with her grandchildren. The United States philosopher VS Solovyev in the book "Justification of Good" very much writes about the veneration of parents. But this is one of the universal commandments of mankind. You read and think: Well, that's so thorough, so meticulous. And so it is clear: Sunday will happen, I will put flowers on the mother's grave. But without a moral relay race there is no connection of generations. There is no covenant either.

A child is never a simple mold of parental upbringing. He very early and quite independently begins to choose the vital relics. If a girl appreciates kindness, love, sacrifice, she can carry these covenants throughout her life, sometimes even in spite of parental instructions. Natalia Gundareva listened to her mother, but she betrayed her love. But is it worth blaming my mother. No, do not - she had her reasons. Each person is responsible for his actions. And this is the connection of times.

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