Client's inability to be himself
If a client complains that he is dissatisfied with himself, that he is not completely satisfied with his own behavior, and also because when deciding how to behave in a particular situation in life, he nevertheless behaves quite differently, it means that the client is not quite capable of being himself.
In this case, in order to help the client, the counselor-psychologist needs, first, to clarify where, when and under what circumstances the client appears to be dissatisfied with himself. Secondly, to determine what exactly is the unnaturalness of his behavior. Third, try to help the client himself to understand what he really is, what his natural behavior is. Fourth, help the client identify and develop new forms of more natural behavior that allow him to be himself.
Let's consider in series and in detail all these steps in psychological counseling. At the psychodiagnostic stage of consulting work, it is recommended to ask the client the following particular questions:
• Where, when and under what circumstances do you most often and most acutely feel (experience) your inability to be yourself?
• In what actions and actions does your inability to be yourself usually manifest?
• What specifically prevents you from remaining yourself in the relevant life situations?
After listening carefully to the client's answers to all these questions, the counselor psychologist must determine and further agree with the client himself what the client should change in himself, in his own behavior.
In order to establish that the customer is natural and unnatural, additional work is required with him. Part of this work is to find out where, when and under what circumstances, after doing what actions and actions the client feels best and most often satisfied with himself. These are the moments in his life when he behaves quite naturally.
The task of working together as a consultant psychologist with a client at this stage of counseling is to determine the forms of the client's natural behavior. This is necessary in order to subsequently consolidate them in the individual life experience of the client, to make these forms of behavior familiar to him.
The next stage of working with the client is to conduct a client's psychodiagnosis. The goal of psychodiagnostics is to accurately determine those personal psychological qualities of the client, which are naturally inherent in him and about the existence of which he knows very little. Speech, in particular, is about the client's awareness of those individual features that he needs to know in order to be himself and to behave naturally.
The result of this part of the work of the counselor psychologist with the client should be an adequate image of the I-client, agreed with the counselor psychologist. Based on this image, the consultant and the client will further have to establish what it means for the client to be himself, to behave naturally, taking into account the characteristics of his image.
The final stage of work on the solution of the discussed problem should consist in the fact that the counseling psychologist and the client plan and implement a plan of concrete actions to develop and reinforce in the client's experience new, more natural forms of behavior and respond to various life situations.
At the very end of the joint work, the counseling psychologist and the client agree on how they will subsequently contact and discuss the current results of the practical recommendations they have developed.
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