Loneliness in a crowd
Maybe for complete human happiness you need to get rid of loneliness once and for all? Cloudless happiness is better than suffering. Strangely, this is what so many famous sociologists thought in the middle of the last century. Enthusiastic in science, with new pharmaceutical preparations, they wrote that painful loneliness would soon be overcome. American sociologist Zbigniew Brzezinski wondered: "Why does modern man suffer?" And he answered: from loneliness. Millions of people can not find a loved one, create a family. But with the advent of computer technology, this problem will disappear. You just write in advertising: "I'm looking for a blonde, well-fed above average, able to cook and loving children," and the computer among the myriad options will find one that will captivate your heart. And here is the longing of the blonde: "I want to marry a strong athletic man who deftly manages the car." The chosen ones fall into each other's arms, as in the finale of the melodrama.
But in life everything was much more complicated. American David Rysmen released the book "Loneliness in the crowd". He showed that the abundance of contacts, computer messages, marriage announcements, alas, does not relieve a person of a feeling of total loneliness. Moreover, the topic has become even more painful, painful. Just think, you can instantly connect with another person on the opposite end of the planet, and the precipitate of restlessness, abandonment, unclaimedness will remain.
Modern culture has taught us that technology, sponsors, good fairies should bring salvation in a helicopter. Meanwhile, loneliness is not at all evil, or, let's say, more cautious, is not always evil. Pushkin had, as you know, many friends. But when he was captured by the poetic element, he sought solitude. Excommunicated from the court light in Boldino, he wrote all the small tragedies, lyric poems. And Lermontov is generally a bard of loneliness: "I have loved gloomy solitude since the beginning of my life ..."
So, poking around in your own pain? In no case. First of all, we need to think about what we want to counteract to loneliness. A lodging of firewood in a fire on the edge of the forest? The ability to cry on someone else's shoulder?
A dull and crazy stay in the "Classmates"? Or maybe an amazing chance to delve into your inner world? Do you want to create your own soul? I want to live, to think and suffer. " How fortunate in this case is loneliness. It immerses in the caches of its unique world, allows you to experience the inherent uniqueness.
But here's what paradox dictates my clinical practice. The patient comes, masochistically talks about her loneliness, insists on miraculous therapy. But later, after hard work, it turns out to be so deeply unexpected, interesting, exacting to the true unity of souls. But here, too, fate rewards the former sufferer. Suddenly, love comes, there is a trembling attitude to life, and the feeling of the split of human existence disappears.
Loner as never before
The American sociologist E. Toffler emphasizes that loneliness has become an acute and massive experience. From Los Angeles to St. Petersburg, teenagers, unhappy married couples, single parents, ordinary workers and elderly people all complain about social isolation. Parents confess that their children are too busy to visit them or even call them. Lonely strangers in bars or laundries pour out each other's soul, telling, in the words of one sociologist, "these infinitely sad stories". In clubs and discos for the divorced there are desperate lonely people.
During the Second Wave (as E. Toffler calls the industrial society), millions of parents carried out their own dreams in their children, as they could reasonably expect their children to achieve greater successes in the social and economic spheres than themselves. This dream of moving upward encouraged parents to concentrate huge psychic energy. Today, many parents belonging to the middle class experience a painful disappointment when their children, living in a much more complicated world, are moving down the socioeconomic ladder, and not upwards. The opportunity to take place with the help of their children disappears.
The community is opposed to loneliness, and a sense of belonging to the community gives people confidence. However, in our time, the institutions on which the community depends, are being destroyed in all technological societies. The result is the spread of plague of loneliness.
The Spanish philosopher A. Servera Espinoza believed that talking about individuality - means talking about loneliness, about the distance separating a person from all other creatures that are with him side by side. Therefore, determining the individuality of a person, one should turn to his loneliness.
Today, a person is as alone as ever. These words are paradoxical, but they reflect the actual state of things. The population of the Earth is now greater than ever. Demographic indicators in some countries cause serious concern and concern for their residents. Day by day, new forms of societies are multiplying, trying to reduce a person to other people, such as different groups of groups, trade unions, political parties. But when a person stops his activity and faces the real reality of his existence, he feels the depth of undivided loneliness in the most secret recesses of his soul. According to M. Buber, this loneliness is the result of the crisis of modern man, which was outlined after the man failed in three different spheres of activity.
The first such field was technology. At all times and epochs, a man in constant conflicts with nature showed his weakness. Guided by different intentions, the person adapted and changed the objects surrounding him until he finally invented the machine.
But, unfortunately, the machines invented to help a man in labor forced him to serve himself; they are no longer a continuation of his hand, the man himself turned into a mere continuation of the machine, one might say, into its specific and auxiliary body. When we use technical means, they influence us, perhaps, more strongly than we do on them.
Today you can not say, as was usually done, about "neutrality" techniques. According to G. Marcuse, technology as such is inseparable from the use it receives. Hence the extremely pessimistic statement of G. Marcuse: "Loneliness, which was a condition capable of protecting a person from society and placing it outside the sphere of social influence, has become technically impossible."
The second sphere was the economy. To supply the person with everything necessary, the production has grown extraordinarily, but it has not been able to achieve rational coordination. With the increase in the population of the world, the sphere of hunger and poverty has expanded considerably, and at that time the well-food-rich countries do not multiply, but rather destroy surplus stocks that are abundant in them. It seems that production and consumption are also out of control, and the person here is on the "foreign territory".
The third sphere is political activity. Political science, which should deal with the regulation of relations between people, gradually turns into a game with words and "good intentions" or, even worse, becomes an arena in which the interests of the minority are protected. Here and there they forget the basis of any true policy - a concrete person. Only the interests of a few are important in this school of conversation. The rest must accept the events in the finished form, without interfering in their formation.
Self-deepening is an essential feature that distinguishes a person from an animal. An animal gets acquainted with the outside world, but can not become the object of its knowledge. Like an animal, a person is surrounded by things and other creatures, but does not dissolve in them, like an animal, and can shut itself off from them, deepening into himself. This is the distinguishing feature of human loneliness: it is obvious to itself, it realizes itself. Consciousness, which leads to reflection, the turning of a person to oneself, awareness of oneself before the world, gives to the human person that inner unity and ontological similarity, thanks to which it occupies a privileged place among other creatures in the universe.
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