PRACTICAL RECOMMENDATIONS ON SELF-REGULATION PROBLEMS IN BUSINESS RELATIONS
Failures in managing emotions in business life
Life failures associated with the deficiencies of emotional self-regulation may be due to a variety of reasons, but most of them relate to the characteristics of the inner, psychological world of a person or to the relationships that develop with the people around him.
If the problems concern human psychology, then they are called internal or subjective, but if the problems refer to circumstances that are not dependent on a person, then they are called external or objective.
The following reasons can be attributed to internal reasons for failures in emotional self-regulation.
1. The struggle between an equivalent, equivalent motive rights, each of which is not able to overcome the resistance competing with it, another motive.
2. Weakness of the will of man.
3. The presence in humans of personality traits that are incompatible with each other, which give its behavior unpredictability and inconsistency.
4. The increased emotional excitability of a person with which he himself is unable to cope successfully.
5. The uncertainty of a person in himself.
6. Slowness in making and implementing decisions.
Among the possible reasons for the external nature, the following reasons can be attributed.
1. Too much dependence of a person on the evolving life circumstances.
2. Excessive personal and business dependence of a person on people around him.
3. The uncertainty of the situation in which a person turned out and in which it is difficult for objective reasons to make or implement reasonable solutions.
4. Complex, contradictory relations of a person with people around him.
Let's consider in more detail each of the above-mentioned reasons.
Under the struggle of equivalent or equivalent motives, we mean the situation when two or more different motives compete with each other in motivating one's behavior, two or more difficultly compatible needs, each of which is relevant and strong enough. As a result, a person is not able to prefer any one of them, since he can not completely abandon any of them.
If, for example, he follows only one of the real motives and proceeds to implement it, then after some time, when this motive is already partially satisfied, immediately another, unmet motive becomes immediately relevant. This situation is repeatedly reproduced with the alternating dominance of one or the other motive. As a result, a person will always be faced with a choice: how to act and what to prefer. He will not be able to control his emotions, connected with the conflict of incompatible motives of behavior.
The way out of this conflict situation can be as follows. A person will need to somehow artificially increase the value for himself of some needs (motives, interests) and simultaneously reduce the importance of others.
Another possible way out of this situation is to create conditions under which the probability of meeting one needs will be much higher than the probability of meeting other needs.
The third way of behavior in the same situation is to simply accept and by effort of will to realize a conscious decision about a completely certain sequence of satisfaction of equivalent needs (motives, interests).
In all these cases, in order for motivational motivations not to compete with each other, they should be somehow dissolved. Then it becomes much easier for a person to control their behavior, and at each moment of time it will actually be subordinate to the task of realizing one motivational tendency.
Weakness of the will of man is a difficultly removable obstacle to the path of effective emotional self-regulation. However, it should be remembered that sometimes for the weakness of the will of a man, the struggle of motives is mistaken.
Behind a weak will often hides the inability of a person to take or execute decisions that have already been taken. Therefore, if the client turned to a psychological consultation with a complaint of weakness of will, then one should not immediately unconditionally trust his own explanation of the problem. It is advisable to find out whether its problem is in the struggle of motives or in the inability to make and execute decisions.
Until now, with the will of man, it is also often mistakenly associated with the idea of a certain physical strength by means of which life problems are solved or obstacles that arise on the way to the desired goal are overcome. In fact, this is not always the case. With physical effort, or rather with its deficiency, only individual, simplest manifestations of the will of man are associated, while more complex manifestations concern intellect and reason. The problems of the will of an adult in psychological counseling are almost always necessary to be solved on the basis of the prerequisite of his reasonableness and consciousness.
The presence of personality traits competing with each other is a problem, the essence of which is expressed in the fact that the same situations and people in the same person can actualize various behavioral tendencies associated, for example, with competing character traits , opposite to each other.
For example, in the psychology of the same person, kindness and anger, extraversion and introversion can sometimes be combined. Each of the competing reactions, generated by such different personality traits, is weakened by the counteraction of the opposite tendency, so that effective self-regulation of human behavior under these conditions becomes very problematic.
You can diagnose this case with the help of personal, characterological psychological tests that allow you to identify and assess the opposite characteristics of the same person. If it turns out that such character traits are available to the client and are sufficiently developed, this will mean that the counseling psychologist is really dealing with the problem under discussion.
How to solve this problem in practice? If we try to solve it in a so-called radical way, by intensifying the development of one of the positive, competitive features of the character, then becoming dominant, it can give rise to a form of behavior that can be regulated easily.
However, such a path is difficult and takes a long time, because the character traits of a person are very stable. The discussed problem can also be tried with a method already described with reference to the conflict of motives, namely, by developing a useful habit in a person to act rationally, not under the influence of emotions, situationally generated impulses.
Of course, in this case too, the problem, apparently, will not be solved immediately and completely, because before a person makes a reasonable decision, he will hesitate for some time and experience, and therefore it is not enough to manage well by yourself. However, as soon as he comes to a certain decision and proceeds to implement it, control over his own behavior from his side will immediately increase.
Increased emotional excitability as a problem of behavioral self-regulation is manifested in a person that, having encountered any obstacle on the way to achieving the goal, he quickly comes to a state of heightened emotional arousal and can not calm down for a long time. This practically deprives him of the opportunity to control his behavior for some time, because too high a level of emotional excitement, as a rule, reduces the control of a person for his behavior, makes one hundred less manageable.
Such an unpleasant characteristic of human behavior can be the result of simultaneous action of several reasons. First, it can act as a natural manifestation of the type of human temperament, in which case no special measures will be able to completely eliminate it. Even if the client manages to cope with external manifestations of his emotionality, his internal, involuntary emotional reactions to the situation will automatically arise. Too often external, strong-willed suppression of such reactions can lead to unfavorable consequences for the general state of mental and physical health of a person.
Secondly, the increased emotional excitability of a person can be a consequence of his unfavorable psychological and physical condition. In this case, the client, even being by nature not a very emotional person, still very emotionally can react to the developing circumstances of life. Solve the problem of the client in this case will be by strengthening his health and improving his mood.
Thirdly, the cause of excessive emotional excitability of a person can become an irrational image of his life, for example, physical or psychological overload, too frequent life failures, generating a state close to frustration. Both that and another weakens the nervous system of a person, makes it more excitable.
In this case, the client's emotional imbalance can be solved only by one way - to change his way of life so as to exclude the appearance of physical overload and frustration in the future.
The uncertainty of a person in himself is a special psychological state that can be generated by a combination of several different causes. Uncertainty can be a consequence of both low self-esteem and failure expectations. The latter usually happens when in the past a person was mostly chased by failures.
Insecurity in itself can also act as a kind of defensive reaction, generated by an inferiority complex, the predominance of the need to avoid failures over the need for success.
Before giving practical recommendations to the client about this, it is necessary to find out what the reason for his insecurity is in fact. If this reason is low self-esteem, then it is necessary to increase it. This, in particular, can be achieved through the discovery of such capable in the person, for which he not only inferior to other people, but definitely exceeds them.
If the reason for the client's insecurity in itself is to be firmly set for the expectation of failures, then you need to somehow change this setting to expect success.
This can be achieved by inviting the client to carefully think through their actions in advance to minimize the failure and to maximize the success. In addition, it is important to teach the client to carefully analyze the conditions of their activities, rationally use them to achieve success.
If the client's insecurity acts as a protective psychological reaction, it can be eliminated by those measures that have already been discussed above.
As for the slowness of decision-making as a probable cause of man's uncertainty in himself, it is recommended to combat this reason as follows.
First of all, it is necessary to explain to the client that in itself the slowness in making and implementing decisions is not a sufficient cause of failure and a serious psychological defect of a person. It, as such, may well be compensated by the thoroughness of preparation and the accuracy of the implementation of the decision. In addition, for a person with relatively slow natural reactions, it is useful to find and assimilate some standard, optimal methods of action that require a minimum of time, and then try to follow them.
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