Social context: friends and adults, Transition (crisis...

Social Context: Friends and Adults

The emergence of a sense of adulthood and the emergence of a need for its approval, the need to take a position that corresponds to the adolescent's ideas about himself, can influence his behavior, change relationships in the family and at school. Self-assertion in adolescence is often expressed in the demand for equal rights with adults, which creates certain difficulties and problems in the relationship between adults and adolescents. In 11-12 years, the teenager's struggle for autonomy, independence begins, first of all, from those with whom he was most closely associated. During this period, there is a peculiar "consumer" the attitude towards parents and teachers, conditioned by the desire of adolescents to test the equality of their rights with adults, the commonality for them and for adults of the rules and requirements of life. This is especially evident, as IV Dubrovin points out, in the zeal of adolescents to the concerns of adults about themselves: to the purchase of things, entertainment, friends, etc. Teenage independence is expressed mainly in the pursuit of emancipation from adults, release from their control and custody. The sense of security and safety is also significant for adolescence, it will give the teenager an opportunity to experiment, pushing the boundaries of his life. However, the teenager no longer accepts the old ways of expressing the parents' love for him, an open expression of feelings, especially in the presence of peers. All this creates a certain tension in relations between parents and teenagers.

L. A. Regusz outlines the following causes of problems in the sphere of teenager's relationship with parents :

• Unwillingness of parents to accept changes in the development of their children, a demonstration of a rigid relationship that was formed in the previous stages of child development;

• authoritarian style of education and communication with a teenager; disruption of contact in dysfunctional families;

• the contradiction between the parents' demands to exercise pro-social behavior and the failure of parents to do it themselves

• Dissatisfaction with the parents of the child's needs, primarily in unconditional love, understanding, protection.

Disputes, discrepancies in the views of adolescents and parents do not apply to all areas of life, but mostly household issues (clothes, hairstyles, the presence of the house in the evenings, etc.), the educational sphere and the ability to dispose of free time at its discretion. In 12-13 years, the precedents of the "value" conflict: active adherence to the adolescent's own understanding of justice in various areas (teacher's remarks, unfair mark, political and economic problems); a teenager denounces adults, accusing them of hypocrisy and injustice. However, despite the fact that the emotional distance between adolescents and parents increases, this does not necessarily lead to a riot or rejection of parental values.

Teachers can greatly influence teens. If the relationship between the teacher and the student is based on personal understanding, their communication is profound and versatile. The teacher becomes one of the most respected people for the pupil, serves as a model for imitation and is able to significantly influence the formation of the self-awareness, goals and aspirations of the child. For a teacher in teenage classes, emotional stability, self-confidence, poise is especially necessary. Such personal characteristics allow him to be open, build relationships with students on the basis of understanding, true spiritual warmth, tolerance and respect. Adolescents, according to F. Rice, love teachers happy, benevolent and cheerful.

Communication with peers during adolescence is extremely important. The need for communication with peers becomes one of the central, and the leading activity of the adolescent period is intimate-personal communication. Well-being in relationships with peers is very important for a teenager, his mental development. Adolescence is sensitive for the development of means of communication : the relationship of adolescents with peers serves as a kind of model of their future social relations with the world. It is known that those schoolchildren who in the 12-14 years were primarily oriented toward the family and the world of adults, often experience difficulties in their relationships with people, both personal and professional, in their youth and adulthood.

During this period, group reaction is most clearly manifested: the desire of adolescents to join a group of peers, communication in a peer group. The group creates a special experience - "We feel", playing an essential role in the adolescent's self-determination and in determining his status in the eyes of peers. The group protects the teenager, will give him support, while making tough demands. Hence the conformance reaction of adolescents, the desire to stand out from peers, be "like everyone": wear the same clothes with all, have the same hobbies, talk on the slang accepted in the group, and so on. It is very important for a teenager to simply be in a group of peers, but to take a certain place, to be accepted, recognized, respected by peers. According to the research of K. Flake-Hobson, teenagers who are not in the company tend to be underestimated by self-esteem, suffer from loneliness, poorly learn at school, they are more likely to have mental disorders and cases of unlawful behavior.

Sometimes a teenager is attracted by the values ​​and attitudes of one person, not the whole group. This person is a significant other - he can be a close friend, a favorite teacher, a movie or sports star or someone else whose opinion is very valuable for a teenager. Here, the so-called reaction of imitation is manifested - imitation of a certain person or image. The influence of a significant other has the greatest power precisely in adolescence, when a teenager is actively looking for models to follow.

Teenagers rush to get rid of parental care, replacing it with confidential, emotionally colored relationships with friends . A teenager wants to have a close, loyal friend with whom one can share his experiences, anxieties, difficulties, intimate thoughts that he could listen to, understand and sympathize with. As friendship grows more and more intimate, adolescents are increasingly turning to very close friends on various issues, not to their parents. Friends and friends give the teenager strength and self-confidence, help in solving internal problems and interpersonal conflicts. Teens tend to choose friends based on common interests and occupations, equality of relationships and devotion. In friendly relations, adolescents are extremely selective and demanding. The actions of peers, especially friends, are judged by the teenager extremely emotionally and from the maximalist positions: for the friend the teenager should be ready for everything; if the friend "failed", "betrayed", then the relationship breaks immediately. Saturation and emotionality of friendly relations in adolescence sometimes leads to conflicts, if the needs of their participants are not satisfied.

The relationship between boys and girls undergoes significant changes in adolescence. There is an interest in each other, which first coexists with the isolation of boys and girls, and many boys manifest themselves in inadequate forms (in "bullying", aggressive reactions). Girls, although complain, but the motives for such actions are understood correctly and do not take offense seriously.

Later, the relationship changes: spontaneity is lost, stiffness, shyness, shyness appear. There is a growing interest in establishing relationships, for those who like whom, although open friendly relations are rare, as for this, as noted by VS Mukhina, adolescents need not only to overcome their own stiffness, but also be ready to resist ridicule and teasing with peer side.

In older teens, communication between boys and girls is more open: there are different sex companies, the desire to please becomes one of the significant aspirations, attachments that can be very emotional and take a big place in the life of a teenager. Some adolescents do not dare to tell the one they are in love with, about their feelings, experiencing the most incredible hopes in dreams and fantasies. Often, a teenager likes a fictional "other" or your dream, rather than a real person. Lack of reciprocity, loss of love leads to strong and acute experiences, suffering. The tendency of a rapid transition from friendship to love, to courtship is due in part to the impact of stereotypes of behavior promoted by the media, in part to the aspiration of adolescents themselves to become adults as soon as possible.

The relationship between boys and girls is influenced by sexual desires that arise during the adolescent period, which can initially be characterized by a certain undifferentiation (sexual experiences can be directed at an adult, peer and the other sex) and increased excitability. The task of gender identification - one of the central for adolescence.

Example

Many problems of adolescents are associated with early awakening of sexual feelings, lack of experience in coping with it and coping with it, lack of social (including sexual) behavior and the first sexual experience of adolescents. Steady and strong interest in sexual matters can testify to the difficulties and problems of the adolescent (both real and imagined), his inferiority experience in the intimate sphere, about unsatisfactory relationships with peers, and intense puberty. In such cases, especially when a teenager early acquires sexual experience, special help is required from parents, teachers and psychologists. It can consist primarily in establishing trust, normalizing relations with peers, finding areas of self-assertion, developing and strengthening self-esteem, self-esteem of a teenager.

Transition (crisis of early youth)

The crisis of early adolescence - the transition period between adolescence and adolescence (about 15 years) - the least studied and often interpreted in different ways. KN Polivanova points out that the symptomatology of this age crisis is too heterogeneous to consider it as a characteristic of the regulatory crisis. If in other age crises the child discovers a special, new, but stable form for the next age, then during the transition to adolescence the teenager meets a changing world, so his development becomes increasingly dependent on specific circumstances and sociocultural features.

An uncertain future causes an increase in anxiety, an experience of fear, of intense excitement. As pointed out by the famous Dutch psychologist and social educator Bernard Livehud (1905-1992), for this crisis phase of personality awakening, the important questions are: "Who am I?", "What do I want?", "What can I do?" . But these key questions are not answered yet, therefore the main characteristic of adolescence is "temporary" (the teenager has not yet decided and has not found a calling).

Recently, as Ivan Dubrovin writes, it is for 15-year-olds that the problem of professional self-determination is increasingly relevant, since the period of study in the senior classes of the school is more likely a period of special professional training. Most teenagers are forced to make serious decisions: to stay in school or go (where?), Go to another school (which?), Choose a class (mathematical or humanitarian, stronger or weak), etc. Many teenagers are anxious, emotionally tense and afraid of any choice, so they prefer either to continue their education in their school and in their classroom, or to shift the choice to their parents. However, often this issue does not depend only on the desire of a teenager or his parents - and here there are new unrest.

It is very important that young people (albeit with the help of adults) make a decision about their professional and personal self-determination on their own. Escape from the crisis in this transition period only delays human development. The one who adequately accepts this crisis usually becomes stronger and is able to control his destiny.

The main neoplasm of younger adolescence is the emergence of a feeling of adulthood and the desire to confirm this adulthood in real behavior, the desire to reckon or at least seem to be an adult. The discovery of one's inner world, the emergence of inner life, personal reflection, abstract-logical thinking, verbal-logical memory, lengthening the time perspective, a tendency to self-analysis and a desire for self-affirmation are all neoplasms of the adolescent period. As a result, by the end of adolescence, the formation of the "I-concept" as an integrative, holistic system of self-representations, coupled with an assessment and attitude toward oneself, which is the central neoplasm of the whole period under consideration.

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