Domestic violence has existed for as long as we know. Not so long ago men were permitted to beat a wife with a stay that is not thicker than one of is own fingers. Nowadays any sort of violence, whether it is physical, mental or any other form is prohibited by the law. Domestic assault occurs in many different ways; however unwanted effects are the same. This essay will address the problem of domestic assault from another type of position, which is unrecognised, unaccepted, disbelieved, and swept under the rug. It'll seek to explore mother nature of misuse against men, cast a light on why the men stay in abusive relationships, effects on abused. Further, why is violence against men unrecognised, so how exactly does the society react as well as is possible "remedies" that could help in working with taboo theme of abused men.
Domestic assault occurs when a family member, spouse or ex-partner tries to in physical form or psychologically dominate or damage the other. (www. wikipedia. com)
Domestic assault is a crime and those in danger of violence need cover.
Victims are often trapped in the problem because they are scared of further abuse or ashamed to report it. If they're financially dependent on the abuser, they are frightened they will have nowhere to reside.
Violence is not confined to any cultural class, nor is all violence perpetrated by men; in a lesser number of cases it's the female who abuses her partner, both emotionally and bodily.
Deirdre, M. (1999) Food home and culture, Gill & M Ltd, Dublin
Popular emphasis has tended to be on women as the victims of home assault although with the surge of the men's activity and men's privileges, there is now some advocacy for men as victims. (www. wikipedia. com)
Violence is discovered behavior. Children, who are exposed to assault at home, see it as normal. They subsequently are likely to be violent as people. Assault and bullying are more prevalent in people who have low self-esteem, sense of inadequacy or difficulty building relationships. Instead of expressing anger verbally, they vacation resort to aggression and physical violence. Violence usually stems from a desire to regulate. Violence is common among those dependent on drugs and alcohol. One has to note that this affirmation can not be fully accepted as true all the research has suggested that assault is combination of dynamics and nurture. However, the effects of violence on partner are physical pain and hurting; loss of self-assurance and self-esteem; emotional damage and isolation from family and friends. Violence breeds violence. Children raised in violent homes often grow into violent people. It could cause homelessness, unhappiness, insecurity and mental harm to children. Partner or children can change to drink or drugs to ease the pain.
more violent population,
delinquency and criminal offense,
marital break down, often as a result of violence, weakens society
adults put through childhood violence often turn into a burden on modern culture, as criminals or alcoholics.
Deirdre, M. (1999) Food home and society, Gill & M Ltd, Dublin
Majority of registered incidents of domestic assault are of men on women. World, although alert to the male victim, treats him as a tale. But in truth he is a guy in fear, isolation, man who's considered as weak. Why is that? Because he doesn't fit into the stereotypical male image. (spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence. org)
To verify that he is a victim,
To ensure that his children are guarded, nor end up being the new victims. Very often they remain in abusive relationships for the sake and coverage with their children.
Most men behave by keeping silent. Often this silence is motivated by concern with ridicule and realization that it is unlikely his partner will be evicted. Although he demonstrates that he is a victim, it appears that only thing that they can do is leave home.
Then he's separated from his children and has problems in keeping proper and regular connection with his children. (www. amen. ie)
Certain conditions provoke violence but we expect such victims to get help or treatment.
Men are anticipated for taking responsibility for their actions (violence) but no excuses are accepted. Yet when feminine is violent culture provides a list of excuses: post-natal despair, stress, PMT etc. Although most men will be hypersensitive to these problems, they should not have to suffer from violence as a result. (spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence. org)
MEN AS FATHERS
When a woman is violent and abusive in romance, it is not always assumed that she is a bad mom. In men's case is automatically assumed that he's unfit parent. The law presumes that the kids are almost always better off with their mother. As a consequence the sole options for men seem to be put up with abuse or to set off, since under regulations there is absolutely no protection to them. (spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence. org)
Men today are spending more time with their children. They offer 1 / 2 of the child's hereditary material, and then are another way to obtain unconditional love so necessary to every child. (www. parentkidrights. com)
Thorough history role of the daddy has transformed. Prior the late 18th and early on 19th centuries, fathers were involved in daily lives with their children. They trained them how to work and functioned alongside of them, especially sons. With industrialization fathers and urbanization fathers often worked 14-16hours in factories (often in wretched conditions) which hindered their role in domestic affairs. Recently, a fresh kind of daddy is emerging, resembling more directly those of pre-industrial eras. This daddy still plays a major role but is also more involved with domestic responsibilities and looking after children. There's a difference between this public image and private certainty. When a dad is involved with child's life it can make a major difference. Childs intellectual, physical and all other trends can be increased if their romantic relationship with a father is close. This does not change if the father will not live with a child (www. montana. edu) You will discover no studies which claim that a child raised by a guy display any proclaimed psychological or emotional characteristic dissimilar to one lifted by a female. (www. kittybrewster. com)
Unmarried fathers haven't any automatic rights with their children. They may, as a result, be denied usage of their children. Unmarried fathers haven't any constitutional protection under the law, and few legal rights, to their children.
It has been established that fathers who have not been refused usage of their children have more positive experience of family life, and will have gratifying and fulfilling relationships using their children. (Lesley C. 2004)
WHY DO MEN STAY STATIC IN ABUSIVE Romantic relationships?
A man received especially bad conquering from his partner. She used various tools pliers, screwdriver etc. He suffered bruising to his forearms, hip and legs, buttocks and back. He didn't use any physical methods to defend himself. A day later he had his injuries documented by the doctor (girl). Her attitude was bemusement, indifference and hostility. She did not encourage him to article further incidents.
He appealed to feminine social workers who advised he should pack his bags and leave, even though he had three small children. But his life wouldn't appear worthy of living without them. He didn't take that option. He visited the district court docket to use for safety and safeness order. However they were unsupportive and did not enroll his bruising that was noticeable. Judge offered him a safety order, and his partner threatened him and applied for safety order against him. Sometimes he has remaining the house (on her insistence). She accused him of desertion. He was rejected usage of his sons. He returned home and she actually is acting very nice until she seems safe to come back to her violent behaviour. He has put up with abuse for a long time to become with his children. (A male victim's confidential affirmation www. amen. ie )
In this affirmation it is clear that the victim didn't get any support and this the life span that he is living is not really a nice one. The doctor's hostility is just disgraceful. In my own opinion she was not taking a look at him as specific patient and revealed characteristic of an discriminator. And all that is remaining to conclude is the fact that man as a victim faces prejudice and is left without choice to accomplish anything. His basic right as an individual and victim are not satisfied.
If a male victim seeks help population should offer the same coverage to help him and his children as is given to the female subjects. Women who are violent should be officially accountable for their activities. (spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence. org)
Fear of not being believed
Fear of being denied access to their children
Fear of being judged and blamed for the maltreatment because of population prejudices
Fear of revenge by abuser
Fear of partner making wrong allegations against him
Fear to be left homeless
(www. amen. ie)
EFFECTS OF Home Assault ON MEN
Inability to work
Performance at the job has been affected
Loss of job
Put tension on marriage with children
Some have lost connection with their children.
In addition to these problems, physical misuse may bring about serious personal injury or loss of life if the victim does not leave the partnership. (www. wejamaicans. com)
By knowing factual statements about abuse one would have to summarize that there surely is no difference between women and men when looking at the effects of abuse.
UNRECOGNITION OF ABUSED MEN
It has taken many years of advocacy and support to encourage women to survey domestic violence. Practically there is nothing done to encourage men to article abuse.
The idea that men can be victims of domestic mistreatment is so unthinkable to most people that many men won't even try to report the problem.
There has been very little investment in resources to address the problems of domestic violence against men.
In most cases physical harm and the impact of assault on men is less apparent then assault against women.
Even when they report it, they don't really get help and in the first place are not believed (www. memberstripod. com)
HOW MAN COPE WITH ABUSE?
Men in abusive romantic relationships use various solutions to attempt to avoid or minimize violent situations. (www. menweb. org)
Go into another room
Leave the home, go to family or friends
Sleep in their car or wherever they can go
Accept responsibility for all sorts of untrue accusations
Cover up because of their violent spouse. (spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence. org)
This will not stop attacks. But the majority of them can do anything in hope to stop abuse. However they fail to track record accidents. Usually they don't tell any members of the family and make excuses for his or her injuries. They fear humiliation even when mistreatment is life threatening. (www. amen. ie)
Abused men aren't cowards but their activities can be misinterpreted so. It is a pity to observe how even the best men succumb to the old-fashioned way of thinking, that if indeed they report abuse they'll be seen as poor. On in contrast those men who'll put up with anything to be with their children, should be admired.
Even when men attempt to report abuse, these are attained with discrimination, disbelief, and responses that most of the time demonstrates why they were reluctant to record anything in the first place. Usually people's reactions would be about men's size (he should be more powerful than a girl), that he did something to deserve it. Even the police are in disbelief and comment if they arrest her, exactly what will happen to the children.
The generalised thoughts and opinions that men aren't capable of caring for children must be changed to make any progress in such instances. Law should be employed regardless of gender, because that is a hiding location for a female. Today's society is, not doing much to solve the problem. Many women will think twice before they take action if they recognized that they may be caught like any men in the same situation.
And as it pertains to the authorities education, they should get more info regarding to gender equality and mindset. Mistreatment is the hardest and least dignified thing that you can do to any individual. And society enables this abuse to occur.
DOMESTIC Maltreatment OF MEN IN IRELAND
One man in 25 has experienced severe physical misuse in a marriage 1 in 90 has experienced intimate abuse and 1 in 37 severe psychological abuse.
While 1 girl in 12 has experienced physical misuse, 1 in12sexual abuse and 1 in 13 severe mental abuse. (www. amen. ie)
These statistics show that while risk to women is higher, home assault is something that also affects a significant quantity of men. (www. irglov. ie)
More than 15million is provided by the government every year for services for feminine victim, while significantly less than 1% of the amount is provided for male victims.
Mary T. Cleary. Irish examiner, 15. 09. 2006
Irish Governments cash for victims of domestic mistreatment clearly show the difference of funding designed for man and women. It is clear as the sky that abused men are not given enough support or popularity by Government.
These information speak for themselves and show how Irish population is aware and acknowledges the local violence against men. But only acknowledging is insufficient and that certainly must be changed. The individual who is working hard for doing that is Mary T. Cleary, the creator of AMEN.
Domestic violence against man is a topic that not many are willing to start. This article has done just that. It explored different facets of misuse against man. Great amounts of things are avoiding recognition (on a bigger size) of abused men. The fact that maltreatment is misuse, no subject against whom it is performed, does not change an undeniable fact that people as modern culture on micro and macro level are closing our eye. Women, Police Officers, Doctors, Administration are leading the "competition". It is clear that men are disadvantaged and the hurdles they are facing are almost impossible to overcome. Their fundamental rights as parents aren't respected.
While doing the study for this project I came across a website RAPE Turmoil NETWORK IRELAND that, in my opinion, has an essential and useful feature.
It gives advice how for your songs so that no person will get out that you visited this site. Instructions are obvious and easy to follow. This site has not relevance to my assignment, but I couldn't fail to notice their basic safety issue. That is clearly a first site that I came across that offers the feature. I believe it ought to be within all sites that package with violent issues, because it can give assurance to many people to seek out answers, to record the abuse. Oftentimes, fear of abuser learning that they tried out to "do" something puts the patients off.
Domestic violence can be avoided through early intervention, by law enforcement, cultural services and the criminal justice system. Even men as subjects, who are reluctant to press charges due to lack of recourses can be assisted after they have been identified and taken off violent home environment. (www. practicalhomicide. com)
It amazes me, through my research how the government and everything involved don't have enough knowledge and common sense to deal with issues like assault and maltreatment against men. As I grew up I witnessed home assault on many occasions. Friends, neighbours, members of my children, unknown people who were abused made me think about causes and solutions to the condition.
While criminal violence established fact, domestic assault is swept under the rug. As a standard "man" is the abuser and "woman" is the abused.
I visited a number of websites in order to find relevant information about abused men but only handful of them had any information about abused men. The main target is on women and children. The sole one that deals with every part of maltreatment against men is AMEN.
I know that is important but also shows me that minority (abused men) is neglected.
A research of MALE Subjects OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE -commissioned by AMEN- was conducted. The analysis was completed in State Monaghan. (See appendix 1)
To make the picture clearer I wanted to observe how other Europe react and deal with this matter. I frequented International Domestic assault and Abuse firms list. It covered 55 countries but none of them possessed any organisations detailed clearly targeted for men. That demonstrated me that Ireland is forward even if there is only one company for abused men. But it is "reachable" a lot more easily than in other countries.
Irish Government funds for sufferers of domestic abuse evidently show the difference of funding available for man and women. They are not given support or popularity by Federal government. (See appendix 2)
I witnessed many violent outbursts in the night time. But I couldn't fail to notice that most those incidents were began by women. Independence and change of life style allow women to venture out and act as men. But binge drinking is one of things that are not good at all. In my thoughts and opinions women know that they will not are affected big outcomes (such as arrest) if indeed they harm someone, so they feel comfortable to do as they please.
Statutory services, and specifically the Health Boards, to take the condition of male subjects of domestic abuse seriously.
The Gardai to adopt male subjects of domestic violence seriously and to treat the matter with an increase of sensitivity.
The legal system (i. e. lawyers, court personnel and the judiciary) to have a more well-balanced and equitable way.
All men surveyed sensed the need for a 'safe place' for taking themselves and their children when happenings in the house became specifically abusive.
Better safety for their children if they're required to leave the family home.
The proper for men to remain in the home when they are the victims. (Departing the home has negative implications for the men in that it indicates he may have inadequate usage of his children which he is going out of his home which generally is his singular asset. )
Better equality when the problem of guardianship and usage of their children is being dealt with by the courts.
Less gender bias by interpersonal workers and healthcare professionals when dealing with male patients of domestic mistreatment.
More alternatives to the adversarial family court system.
The issue of men's health insurance and welfare to be studied more very seriously by the federal government.
Good support services for male subjects.
These recommendations are obvious plus they cover all areas that need to change in order to deal with misuse against men. However change needs to begin on small level you start with men who need to say that they may also be vulnerable, and for the reason that in their "macho" world some space should be left for acknowledging that simple fact. All children should be made aware that abuse is abuse no matter whom it is done against. Without that, I'm afraid, we won't get very good.
Intrigued by this subject matter, I asked friends what they think about abuse against men. Almost all responses were increased eyebrows and disbelief, laughter and the same replies as in all material that I've researched because of this subject. The picture that folks have in their mind is the fact that abusers are male and few said it is possible that females can be abusers as well.
My hope is that this essay will at least on a tiny scale make people aware of Misuse AGAINST MEN.
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